Fit... Monday?

Fit Monday just doesn't sound right. But I missed the promised Fit Friday. I went to Quantico to visit and then the weekend just got away from me. But alas, here I am Fitting it Up on Monday, but hey that's okay because after a splurgy weekend, it's good to think about Fitness on a Monday!

As I was telling you all earlier, I recently watched Hungry for Change. It is such a great film and wakeup call. I'm not here to tell you all the things you should and shouldn't be eating, though. You can watch Hungry for Change and figure that out.

I try to eat right all the time. I know what I should be eating and what I definitely should not be eating (including some of my favorite foods like macaroni and cheese and ice cream) and I am learning the why's behind it by tons of research and documentaries like Hungry for Change. I'm sure most of you reading this know that you want to be eating more fresh vegetables and fruits, lean proteins and whole clean foods and less processed junk, sugar, and white flour. Right? So I'm not going to preach that today (maybe another day, not today).

What I've learned from this journey is that I screw up. A lot. I mean, that's in life too, not just in health and fitness. Sometimes, the ice cream wins. Sometimes, just a bite turns into a whole meal. It happens. Usually, I feel incredibly guilty about it and I wonder what I should do to "make up" the food mistake I just made. And then I realize, I enjoyed that ice cream, or I enjoyed that meal. And, one of my new favorite mantras, one ice cream didn't make me chubby, one cheat meal didn't get me out of shape then one ice cream or cheat meal isn't going to completely destroy what I've been working on, either.

I used to be under the model of thinking if I screwed up, that was it I was done - my diet was over. And that's the problem, I saw it as a diet, I viewed what I was doing as a temporary thing. I've since changed my thoughts and it's really helped in how I do this whole healthy thing. First, I'm not on a diet. I'm on a quest, a journey if you will, to eat nutritious food and to take back control of my body. I'm tired of giving in to the psychological responses of "food like substances" controlling my reactions to food. It's not meant to last a certain number of months, and it's not for a certain marker event. It's simply for me to feel and look better and improve my health so I can hang out with my awesome daughter as long as possible. Next, because it is long term, I can't expect short term changes. I don't constantly jump on the scale, I measure with inches and photos to document long term and lasting change. Lastly, I recognize that I'm human and I have a weak spot for certain foods but that doesn't mean that I have failed it means I had a little slip. Then, I jump right back on the wagon and keep on keeping on. There's no quitting if it's for the long term.

The moral of the story is... just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...
Don't quit! Just because you're not seeing immediate results or you had a bingey weekend, don't use those as excuses to give up. Bad stuff happens sometimes, we pick up and move forward - the same applies to health and fitness! There are so many more motivational quotes I can throw in here, If it doesn't challenge you it won't change you... You didn't get chubby in one day you won't get fit in one day either! And on and on and on. Keep going friends, You got this!!

Yes, I know, I don't really have a future in motivational speaking. But hey, I'm trying - alright? haha

The other exciting thing happening in my health and fitness journey is I recently signed up to be an ItWorks Global independent distributor. This is the company with those "crazy skinny wraps" as well as some really awesome supplements and skin care products. I am really, really excited to be working for this company. I've tried the wrap myself and saw pretty awesome results. As I saw more and more people having great results and showing such loyalty to the company and my friends having such success being distributors, I've chosen to sign up too. I was definitely a skeptic at first but the results spoke for themselves and I'm hooked. I don't want to take away from my whole motivational speech with sales talk, so I'll wrap this up for now (get it... WRAP?! hahaha) but I will encourage you to check out my website, have a look at the product, and contact me when you're interested in knowing more or getting started! Don't worry, there will be a whole post about this in the future for those of you who are interested and keep your eyes peeled for some "opportunities involving free stuff" (hint hint there will be a giveaway in the near future!!)

Happy Monday everyone, remember JUST KEEP SWIMMING!!

Semper Fi,
Mrs P

What I'm Doing Wednesday

Is that an actual thing? If not, can I claim it?

Welcome to Mrs. P's version of What I'm Doing Wednesday!!

I really don't know what it is, but hey, it sounds good.

Lately, things have been pretty good. This passed weekend was probably one of the best I've had in a long time. It's always a good weekend when spent with my best friend and Friday through Tuesday. We made a pact right off to have the best day ever and it turned in to the best weekend ever.
I took my lovely Chicagoan no-ocean BFF to Ocean City Maryland on Saturday. It was a day trip that turned into, "Let's grab a hotel and leave tomorrow." Oh the spontaneity! Definitely an aspect I miss from my life. We also had a chance to get up to Rocks State Park and visit Kilgore Falls, such an awesome spot in Harford County MD. We went on Post and stuck our toes in the Chesapeake Bay. The theme of the weekend was hang out in as many different bodies of water as possible, apparently. We went and saw The Heat which I highly recommend. It was hilarious. And now my favorite thing to say is "You're covered in nuuuuts." Seriously, go see it. We had serious girl time and got to talk lots about our hubbies. It was just a great, refreshing, and happy weekend. I seriously wish Chicago were closer to Baltimore because I hate the distance between us and the amount of time that passes between seeing one another.

Now I am watching Hungry for Change, a fascinating documentary about food and "Food-like substances" and the difference and what the introduction of the latter is doing to our bodies. I've been so intrigued lately about foods and chemicals and eating and fitness. I highly recommend this documentary to anyone interested in health and fitness and making life changes, it's definitely inspiring me. What I like the most is that for once, information I've been learning, and reading about is the same. One of the biggest challenges I've come across as far as eating and fitness, is that every source has different information. For once I'm not getting conflicting information, the things I read about in It Starts With Food (a book that has seriously started chaning my life) are being reiterated and built on upon in Hungry for Change. I'm definitely going to come back to this on Fitness Friday, a new Friday segment I'm starting here at Little Pink, so come back on Friday for some Health and Fitness discussion!

I'm currently on a type of vacation. My mom snagged A for a little bit on a little vacation so I'm on a "mommy vacation" of sorts. Let me tell ya, it's weird. My house is far too quiet and my schedule, although I'm staying busy, is just so different. I miss my girl. However, I know she's having a blast with my parents and I think we might have actually needed a little time apart. A and I spend nearly 24 hours a day together. I am enjoying a little "time off" from my full time job and she is enjoying getting spoiled by grandma and papa. Buuuuut when it's all said and done and the time to just "be me" is nice, I miss the crap out of my kid. And my parents, lol. Sometimes I feel guilty admitting that it's nice to have a little break. Talking to other moms makes me realize that every mom could use a little "time off" and I have nothing to be guilty for, for letting her have time with her grandma, in fact I am lucky to have a great family that she can go and hang out with. Single parenting is really tough, I'll admit that. And I know people will judge my choices to let her have time with grandma while I have a little "time off." And that's okay, judge me they can because in the end I know what's good for A and I. I think I wanted to share this for the other moms, especially the single ones, who are struggling with a similar issue. Talking to some of my widow friends I know we struggle with these kind of things. We feel as though we must be "on" all the time. I need to work hard all the time, being a mom is my job and I must be the best at it 100% of the time. And that's not the case, I think it's totally healthy to take a break, provided your child is still in a safe and loving environment while you do so. And like I said, I'm lucky to have that. So to the moms who may need a break but don't want to admit it, your kid might be in need of a break from you, too. Don't beat yourself up when you struggle or when you can't give 100% - you are only human. And it's okay to take someone up on an offer to "relieve" you for a little bit. Take some time, relax, regroup, and restart again. It will help and you will be able to give more of yourself!

Ok, now I'll hop off my soap box. I need to head to the gym to get a workout in for the day, I've been a little bit lazy while watching my documentary.
Hope everyone has a lovely holiday! Be safe! Have fun!

Semper Fi,
Mrs P

Exciting Things!!

We all have dreams, right? I mean we dream about what we want to be when we grow up? Well, I'm still not 100% exactly sure what I want to be when I grow up because there are so many things I want to be... in addition to what I am. I am interested in so many things that I haven't been able to confidently say I definitely want to be a(n) xxx.  (No, that xxx doesn't stand for porn star, that is not on the list). I'm interested in cosmetology (obviously), education, real estate, nutrition, the list goes on and on.

There has been, however, one constant. Since I was just a kid until this very day. In fact, to this absolute second... I've wanted to be a writer. I remember writing stories as a kid and reading them to my parents. Actually, if I remember correctly I'd hand the stories over and have them read to themselves because I didn't like to read my own stuff to people nor see other people read it in front of me. Still don't. I would write pages long stories in composition notebooks, the marble kind with the really thick lines, all through elementary and middle school. I wrote a lot of poetry in high school along with my short stories. A couple pieces were published in the school magazine and I thought it was a really big deal. In college, I took a few writing classes and they were always my favorite. My creative writing class was by far my favorite class hands down. And I was a psychology major...

I love every aspect of putting words on paper (err computer screen). I love hearing them drift through my head as the day goes by and I plan the direction whatever I'm working on is going to take. I love the development of my characters and seeing the story progress and come alive in my mind - even for nonfiction. I love a fresh page staring at me, the little "blinky line" waiting in anticipation. I love the feeling of my fingers pressing the letter keys and the click-click sound as I type... I know some people who are easily annoyed by my clicking, but it's one of the most calming sounds in the world to me. It means I'm in my place and I'm doing "my thang." I just really enjoy it, regardless of whether it will ever "turn into something," I just love to write. When I got married and started this blog, it wasn't supposed to be a big deal. It was a way to keep in contact with people as well as my own release and catharsis dealing with all the change that was happening. Marrying into the military, moving, pregnancy - you name it. It was easy to find my little corner of the interwebs and click away. As I've said in the past, I never would have expected what happened to this little ol' blog. After Jonny's death I received an outpouring of love and support. My writing suddenly was noticed.  I no longer was writing for myself or my close family and the circle of friends I had created, I was writing for a vast audience. I was affecting people with my words. It was pretty surreal. Actually, it still is. It is a humbling experience to see that the one thing you really love to do is actually something people appreciate and even look forward to. It's awesome.

I've never really told many people but one of my many and biggest dreams is to write a novel and have it turned into a film. Doesn't have to be a best seller or make me millions of dollars (while that would be an added bonus), I just have always thought it would be so amazing to see someone's visual interpretation of writing I had created.

About a year ago, I was contacted by Lew Holder, a film student at Ohio State University. He told me he had read my piece on the Washington Post's blog series Impact of War and was incredibly touched by it. So touched, in fact, that he wanted to turn my words into film. He wanted to put visual representation to what I had written. I was completely blown away, and honestly I still am today while writing this for you all to see. Of all the accolades and praise I've received over the years, this one is pretty high up there. To know I've inspired someone so much by one simple post they want to base a film off it? Well... it's cray! (That's all I've got folks!) I'll admit I was a little hesitant, wondering what the catch was, as I've been approached here and there for some things that seemed a little shady and have turned them down. I was waiting for some kind of "but" to come. It never came. Lew proved to be a really genuine guy out to make something based on a story that had inspired him and that story happened to have been mine.

A year later, I received a package in the mail. Ariana was most excited about the Ohio State t-shirt in her size (I have a few friends who will love seeing us in our matching Buckeyes shirts!) but I was pretty elated at the signed script cover page that said Unheard Promises A Lew Holder Film Based on the Writings of Rachel Porto.

Based on the writings of Rachel Porto?! WHAAAT! That's pretty awesome for an aspiring author whose dream is to see her work turned into film. Holy. Bagoly.

Lew had attached a really nice letter and in it he had talked about researching and reading my work and how much he had put into the project. I'll tell you all a secret. I cried just reading the letter and the cover page of the screen play. No joke. It might seem minor to you, but to little ol' me... this was so awesome. I'm always blown away when people say I've inspired them, heck I'm pretty blown away just when people say they like my writing, so you can imagine this was a big deal for me.

I watched the movie and of course I cried. It's based off my work but the characters were created for the project. There was something about the "Jonny" character (who wasn't called Jonny) who reminded me so much of my Jonny... man. It was much better and so much cooler than I could have anticipated.

So enough jabbering by me, I really want to share this with you all. I asked Lew if he wouldn't mind me blogging about it, and obviously he was cool with it (duh) and he even uploaded it to YouTube, so you, my lovely readers, can have a peek as well. He didn't make it to compete in a festival, or sell... he just made it. You guys, that's so stinking awesome. I am so touched and blown away and just... gosh... humbled by this whole thing. It's been so amazing. So now that I know my mom has at least seen it (didn't want to put it up here before she got a look) I am ready to share with you.

I present to you, Unheard Promises A Lew Holder Film based on the Writings of Rachel Porto.

squeee.

I'm not saying I'm a great writer or that I'll even "make it." What I am saying it Thank you. Thank you to all of you who read and enjoy/find inspiration/laugh/show up for the party. Thank you to everyone who has followed our journey and cheered us along. Thank you for allowing me to have an audience here at my tiny corner of a vast internet. Thank you for letting me be inspired to continue you. And thank you Lew, for being inspired, for creating such a cool project, for doing our story justice. Thank you.

Reality TV Reality Love

Ready for Love. Anyone still watch it? Yes, it was cancelled but it actually stayed available on Hulu, NBC.com and onDemand (at least on comcast, anyway).

The finale came on yesterday and of course I watched it today because I do thangs my own way, ya know.

And of course, as with any reality tv show where choices are made and someone wins, I definitely had my picks. And (yet again) of course, the way I go with winning (bets, lottery, bingo, guessing winners of reality shows...), I was wrong and my choices were not picked. I did have a feeling that Tim was going to pick Jenna from the beginning. But I loved Sara who was a wiancee (that's widow term for person whose fiance died) and I think I just had that connection with her and so badly wanted to see her so happy. I knew it'd be Jenna though. Ben was a bit more complicated. I thought sure Allie had it in the bag at the home visit, but Angela came through in the end. I liked both choices, there was just something about Allie that seemed so real. And Ernesto made his decision the episode before, romantically climbing up to Shandi and telling her she was the only one for him. I called that one too, the night he kissed her before anyone else. So I guess I didn't do too bad at the guessing part, it's just the ones I was rooting for that didn't get chosen.

Anyway, watching it I kept thinking things like, "Allie is so much better. You even said how she fit with you, Ben!" and "Jenna looks crazy-similar to your ex-wife Tim, don't you think you should go a different path?! Sara would love you so much!" and then it kind of hit me. The way stupid things like reality TV usually do... I'm not there. I'm not them. I don't know what their hearts, minds, or other deciding parts are telling them. I don't even know them.

I've gotten so mad at people for the same thing toward me. I shouldn't have started dating when I did. I should be dating more. The people I dated were wrong. My methods of grief were wrong. Etc. etc. and here I was putting input in on these strangers the same way. Granted, they couldn't hear me - the only one who could was King - but still. What is it about us humans who think we have a right to put our opinions in so often about others' lives? And how does one change from a critic to merely an observer? And from that, is observing enough? How would one choose between when to only observe and when to add input?

Yeah, all that came from a stinkin' reality tv show. Clearly I really let my mind wander when I'm vegging out late in the evening. But seriously, where and how, as humans, do we draw the line? Something to ponder.

I also wanted to take a moment to talk about Sara, even though she'll most likely never see this in her life. But hey, maybe - stranger things have happened. So Sara. Even for reality tv, that woman handled herself so gracefully and I was just so impressed. From the get go, she let Tim know that she had lost her fiance to cancer, and even though their losses were different (he is divorced from his first wife) that she could understand loss and opening up to love again. Throughout the show she talked about opening up and actually being, as the title of the show states, Ready for Love. I think that was just such an admirable step. She not only made herself vulnerable to another person (so frickin scary after such a big loss) but to the entire nation on television. Then tonight, she continued to tell Tim how she felt right before he was going to break up with her. When he finally let it out that he was choosing Jenna, the way Sara held herself... Wow. She hugged Tim and told him that basically she just wanted to see him happy and she was glad for him that he had found that. She said how she'd learned and grown through the experience and knew she was ready for love as well and that she knew she would find that one person to make her happy like Tim had (I'm paraphrasing, obvi). It was just so graceful and respectful and honorable... What a lady.

 It's difficult to love again after the death of a significant other. It's scary to think of losing them again, if not to death, then to break up. Making yourself vulnerable again is terrifying. I often think I am ready for love. I want to be with someone, to share my life with someone, but then I wonder if I really am ready. Can I handle being vulnerable again? Can I handle loss again? I tried it once, and obviously it didn't work out. It's not a situation I'm really comfortable getting into here as it's extremely personal. But I do wonder if I really did make myself vulnerable then or if I kept just enough walls up to keep from really getting hurt. In the world of dating after loss, how do we find the difference between companionship and love?

That is certainly something I'm going to have to search within myself for. How (and if) I can be ready for actual love again and not just companionship. And then it's something that will have to, obviously, be found within the other person.

All is not fair in love and war. But indeed, onward we march.

Semper Fi,
Mrs. P