For Lauren (I Love Widows)

Well, my dear friend was very sad that when she checked in here, nothing new has been posted. So, here I am after yet another hiatus. I have so much I want to talk about. I really want to talk about Memorial Day, but I need to figure out how to post something first, so my Memorial Day post will be even more delayed. I'll just say it was a nice one and I hope and think my hubby was proud.

So instead, I'll talk about widows. I love widows. They're basically my favorite kinda people.
Sometimes, that's because they just get it. They understand my life because they are me. They are me and I am them. We can be so different yet so alike that sometimes it may be hard to remember if a grief experience is your own or a friends'. I can read blogs and be astonished by the words another widow writes that I swear I could have just written (had I not been on hiatus - haha) or the comments from widows who are sure they wrote my post themselves.

I love widows for the sense of humor many of us share. The way we can embrace crappy situations through laughter. Sure, some of us may be a little more dark, crass and inappropriate than others (*hides face*) but widow humor is just something that makes our situation a little bit easier, a little bit more bearable and I am so thankful for other ladies who can embrace that.

I love widows for how they embrace life. So many of my friends who have lost their significant other just really jump into life head first. We know how short life is. We are faced with that terrible reality every day - that life can end in an instant. A surprising and completely shitty instant. So what do we do? Well, maybe we go a little insane, but we live. We find ways to feel alive. We travel, we see things, we meet people, we do extreme things (like flying airplanes or jumping out of them), we start organizations (I'm just sticking with the "we," no, I have not started an organization), we reach out to people, we appreciate those special people in our lives sometimes leading to neurosis (many widows I know have anxiety when being separated from their loved ones, it's not just me - I just call it extreme love heh), we tell people how we feel even if they might not like it, we honor our spouses and keep their memory alive so they will remain with us always.  Are these qualities the same for every widow? No. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is the widows I've met, especially those I've become close with do many of those things, they just grab on to life and let it take them because it could all be over when we least expect it.  We've seen that - we get it. I don't want to be a generalizer and say all widows are awesome, but the ones I've met are indeed awesome, each in her (or his, I know one widower) own way, if in only the fact that they are living through the tragedy they were handed, they are awesome (although it is usually much, much more than that).

I love widows because they make me feel less alone. Although this is the one time where I can also say I hate widows, too. I hate that so many awesome ladies I've met have been handed this life. I hate that there are so many young, beautiful people who know all too well what heartbreak feels like, how death changes your entire life. My heart breaks when I meet new people who are widows. It's strange because I get excited, a new friend - yay! But my heart just breaks that there is one more person who has lost so much and hurts in a way that will never heal. It might mend but it won't heal. It's frustrating and confusing. But above all that, I love them! They make me feel normal, they make me feel sane, and just simply not alone.

So, for my widstas out there, I love you guys. You inspire me every day and many times you have helped me through the hardest spots of my life and encouraged me to go on. I am grateful for all of the times we've had together, for those who stopped in this weekend and visited (Holla Karie, Kelly and Lauren!), for those I've traveled with, cried with, laughed with, facebooked with. You guys are all the bomb, don't stop doin' what you do - don't stop livin'!

"I have known true love.I have known defeat.I have conquered defeat.I have endured.I have persevered.I am more than a widow.I am anINSPIRATION."-AWP

Never forget, my widow loves, you are an inspiration. W<3


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