17 March 2010

I Will Always Be a Marine Wife

I just need to share some sad news with all of my blog friends.
Sad isn't even the word to describe it, but honestly at this point I can't find the words to describe it. Angry, empty, crushed, confused, shocked, alone, unglued, hateful, depressed, beaten down... none of these words can do justice to my feelings.
I am being forced to do something that no 23 year old woman should ever have to do. I am being forced to do something that no one should ever have to do, not at this early in life, especially. I am being forced to lay the love of my life, my saving grace, my entire world to rest.
Sometimes hashing it out in words helps, so I'm trying to blog about it. To wrap my mind around why God would do this to me, to him, to us. I can't fathom how any of this has happened, it all still feels so surreal, there's no way this is real I am having a nightmare. Unfortunately this is a nightmare I am unable to wake up from.

On Sunday 14 March, Cpl Jonathan Daniel Porto, my one and only soul mate, died while on operations in Helmand Province, Afghanistan when the vehicle he was in flipped over. On Monday 15 March, a CACO came to my house to notify me of the terrible news. I'm not even going to begin to describe my reaction at that. On Tuesday 16 March I went to Dover AFB to welcome my beloved husband home. It is not the way I had intended to welcome him home, I had planned that in a few more months he'd be walking off the bus, I'd be standing there with a 6-8 month old Ariana with our signs, smiling, waiting for him to enter our arms. I did not ever imagine I'd be watching an honor guard escort a metal box draped in an American flag off a jet. Never did I imagine that on Friday I would be heading to Florida to make funeral arrangements. This is not how it was supposed to happen. It is not fair. I am so angry, I'm hurt... I'm... I don't even know. I'm missing him. I miss him. I need him, I want him here with me, and my wishes will never, ever be met. I do know that he is here with me, just not the way that I desire. I do know that he has been with Ariana, I know that he has spoken to me and her both and I pray with everything that I am that he will continue to do so.

If you are interested in reading more about this, google has all kinds of articles on him. I want the world to know, however, that some articles mistakenly put that my husband joined the Corps only because he could not find a job. He joined the Corps because he was looking for meaning and purpose in his life and because he felt a calling to be a United States Marine. And he was a DAMN good Marine, an AMAZING husband, and even from miles and miles away, a WONDERFUL father.

I will forever hold you in my heart, Jonny. I love you much more than words can express. I miss you so much it hurts. I will be seeing you again.

If the Army and the Navy,
Ever look on Heaven’s scenes;
They will find the streets are guarded
By United States Marines.

755 comments:

  1. I have no idea what to say. I am so sorry and you are right, there is no reason anyone should have to deal with this. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  2. I cannot even begin to describe how sorry I am for your loss. I wish I could hug you through the computer. My thoughts and prayers will be with you as you go through something no one should ever have to. Your husband is a true American hero.

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  3. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I have tears in my eyes right now. There don't seem to be any words that are sufficient in a situation like this. We can never do enough to thank those in the military or the families that support them...thank you.

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  4. Im so incrediably for you and Ariana's loss. Im in complete shock, we have never met but this just hits way to close to home for me. My thoughts are with you and your family and your husband is truely a hero. Semper Fi

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  5. I sent you an email... I've been crying for like a half hour now. I feel like I know you. Him. And Ariana. You remind me so much of myself and your family of mine. I remember in the last days of your pregnancy worrying that he wouldn't be able to call and find out when she was born. And now that you've been single mommying you're especially like me. I feel like I lost my husband. And because he's a Marine, I really did lose part of my family. I would really like to meet you. I hate that it would be under these circumstances but if there's anything I can do for you, I'll be there as fast as I can. Semper fidelis.

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  6. Words cannot describe....I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a tight hug right now, but since I can't, please know that I'm praying for you and your family.

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  7. I may not know you, but I love you. Please feel a hug I am sending through God to where ever you are. I'm praying for you and your daughter and I'll send a prayer request to my mom's church and my Bible study tomorrow so we can all lift you up to God.

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  8. My heart is aching for you and your daughter. Your family is in my prayers. No one should ever have to go through this.

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  9. I cannot put into words how very sorry I am to hear about your (and Ariana's) loss. You are absolutely in my thoughts and prayers. I'm happy you have a piece of him left (Ariana). You now have another Guardian Angel who will always be there to look over you and your daughter. You and your husband made a huge sacrifice for our country, and it is not one that will go forgotten. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. ♥

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  10. my condolences to you and your family. i am so sorry for your loss, and you're right, no one - and not especially someone as young as yourself should have to go through something like this. my heart breaks for you and ariana. you and your family will be in my prayers

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  11. I don't even know what to say, other than I am so sorry for your loss. I'm in tears, and I have never met either of you. Please know that if you need anything, we will all do anything we can to help you. I will be praying for you and Ariana, and for the rest of your husband's family and friends. I wish I could give you a hug, but know that you will be in my thoughts.

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  12. I cannot begin to express my sadness for your loss. I don't... I don't have the words to say my feelings for you and your loss. You and Ariana will be in my thoughts.

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  13. i am so sorry......i dont know what else to say..my prayers are with u and ur family

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  14. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. My thoughts and prayers are with you. No one this young or ever should have to go through something like this.

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  15. My heart breaks for you and your baby daughter. No one deserves this and I wish beyond anything that there was something, anything I could do to alleviate any of your pain. No one should ever have to go through this. I will pray for your family.

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  16. I've been sitting here for a while with tears and this empty comment box. There are no words in the world that will quench the pain in your heart right now. Please know that there is another person saying prayers for you. Not just to find peace to get through this, but that there will be good things that come your and that precious baby girl's way.

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  17. im so sorry for your loss. words cant describe how awful this is.

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  18. My heart aches for you and your families loss. I can't say enough how much I feel for you . I am so sorry and while I don't know you I am here for you.

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  19. As an Army Wife with a husband currently deployed... I am mourning with you. I can not imagine what you are going thru, but please know that there are strangers praying for you and thinking about you and will be there for you if you were to ever need anything. Even if it's just to read your blogs and hear your story.

    Rest in Peace Fallen Hero.

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  20. My heart is aching for you as tears roll down my cheeks. You are a courageous and strong woman!! I wish I had the words that could bring you comfort during this time. Although we have never met, if there is anything you need, and I do mean anything, please do not hesitate to ask. You are in my thoughts.

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  21. Oh my God. I don't know what to say. Reading this was like a punch in the gut. I'm so incredibly sorry and I know those words are nowhere close to enough. I can't believe... I can't imagine...

    Please know that we are all here for you, whatever you need. Anything at all.

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  22. I cannot even begin to imagine your loss. You, your daughter, and your loved ones will be in my prayers.

    Thank you, for your sacrifice - and for his. It seems so small, but that's all I can say.

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  23. I am so sorry for your loss.. choked up with tears and can't seem to fathom what you're going through right now at this young age. I pray that Heavenly Father will guide and bless you and Ariana through this heart breaking pain. God bless

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  24. I do not know you..but I am hurting for you so much..I don't even know what to say..as a military wife with a deployed husband myself, this is my worst fear. No one should ever have to feel this kind of pain. My heart & prayers go out to you & your sweet baby..I just can't find too many words right now...I'll be thinking of you & Ariana...

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  25. My heart breaks for you and your daughter for the loss of your hero. You have now joined a club that no one, especially a young wife, and mother should have to be a part of. First off let me tell you, you will ALWAYS be a Marine Wife. And with that means you will ALWAYS have a bigger family that you can ever comprehend. We are here for you on every corner of this planet, waiting for you and your daughter if you ever need us. We are wives, daughters, sons and brothers and sisters of you and your daughter and your fallen hero. At this time of your loss you may feel very alone and rightfully so, but you will never be alone. My father was killed in Vietnam when I was 8 months old (Roland Adamoli, USMC) and I still hear from his buddies and they are my family all these years later. Your Marine family will be a big as part of your life as you want us to be, but we will never abandon you or your child. Please know our arms wrap around you at this terrible time. In closing do not feel as though you need to defend your husband as some main stream media articles try to represent his "reasons" for joining the Marine Corps, you never need to do that. If you need ANYTHING please contact me.
    Heidi Harting usmcwife8999

    "The bond that links your true family is not one of blood,but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely domembers of one family grow up under the same roof"Richard Bach

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  26. OMG, I am SOOOOO very sorry for your loss hun. I wish there was more I could do for you. Even though I don't know you, I still hurt for you especially as a fellow Marine wife.

    I'm praying for you and your little angel hun.

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  27. My heart goes out to you! I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be praying for you and your family!

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  28. I imagine that CACO moment every day of every deployment, but imaginings can never emulate reality. There are no words... You and your daughter are in our prayers. Semper Fi....

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  29. I'm so sorry for your loss. Marines and Marine families give so much for the rest of us— I have nothing but admiration. Nothing but admiration for you and prayers. s/f

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  30. Your family is in my heart and in my prayers. I am so sorry.

    Semper Fidelis. <3

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  31. I know that words won't bring much comfort, but I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your little girl. My heart just ACHES for you!

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  32. I have been crying ever since I found out. You shouldn't have to go through this. Just remember that God has a plan. Having faith in something is better than believing nothing. You will always be a Marine wife and you will always be his wife. All of my heart, thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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  33. I'm so sorry for everything you're going through right now. I know that nothing I can say will ease your pain, but please know that you and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry.

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  34. I've sat here trying to figure out what to say. I need to respond to a message you and I had going back and worth so I'll just let you know that my heart is aching with you guys. Our family and everyone we know are praying for you and Ariana. Lots and lots of hugs for you!

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  35. I have no words. Only that you and your family are in my thoughts.
    Your husband was a brave, honorable man who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country. Your daughter will always be able to tell people that her father was a hero.
    Peace to you.

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  36. My heart sank for you reading this. I can't even fathom what you are going through right now, but as the wife of a deployed soldier I know the fear of what could possibly happen and I'm so sorry that it happened to you.

    I know this might not mean much coming from a stranger, but I'll keep you and your little girl in my thoughts.

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  37. Words can't explain how truly sorry I am of your loss. I pray the love of God embraces you and your daugther this very moment and in the days ahead. Your Marine Corps fellow wives are grieving with you.

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  38. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and Ariana.

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  39. Thanks, Jon, for your service and sacrifice

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  40. I'm so, so very sorry for your loss. It is incredibly unfair. But as you said, he is always with you, no matter what. And you already know how strong you are because you are a marine's wife - so even though I'm sure you don't want to get through this (and who can blame you), you will. And you'll be able to share with Ariana as she grows what a wonderful man her father was, what a true hero, and how much he loved her and you.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you - hang in there, and know that there are many of us out there who don't even know you who are sending you strength. And lean on your family and his for strength too. All the best to you and Ariana.

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  41. We've never spoken before, but someone tweeted this post and I just wanted to say that you're in my thoughts.

    I can't imagine the pain that you're going through. And being the same age, I can't imagine having something like that happen to me now.

    Take care.

    Ashley

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  42. My heart is broken for you and your baby girl, and for your husband whose life was cut far too short. As a sister military spouse, I can assure you that you will always be one of us. I am sorry you are living this nightmare.

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  43. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers

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  44. My heart breaks for you and Ariana. I don't even know what words to say right now, your family is in my thoughts and prayers. And after the sacrifice you've had to make, you will always be a Marine wife. Semper fi.

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  45. I am an Air Force wife and I just wanted to tell you that I am so very sorry for your loss. We military wives all know that fear of losing our loves over there. Our hearts break when it happens to one of our sisters, even if we do not know them personally, in a sense we do know one another, because we all know the joys, the risks, and the pain that we all share as military families. I wish no one ever had to go through that pain. I pray that you find strength for the days ahead and though it is a small condolance, know that your sister service military spouses cry with you.

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  46. My heart aches so badly for you. This is just not right. You shouldn't have to do this. I am praying so hard for you and Ariana. Praying for strength, praying for comfort, and praying for peace. Your husband gave the ultimate sacrifice and I will forever be grateful to him.

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  47. I am incredibly and deeply sorry. I can't fathom the shock and pain you are feeling right now. I'm thankful for your husband's sacrifice to serve our country and yet I know it was at great cost to you personally.

    I pray God will wrap His arms around you and comfort you during this time of grief.

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  48. Oh Honey - big hug for you! There are no words that can comfort or touch your grief. Just know that God has PROMISED to dry EVERY tear -- and we'll just hold him to that! Will keep you and your family close in my prayers. That flipped over vehicle did more than take away your Jonny - it flipped over your life as you'd dreamed it/hoped it/imagined it. Please don't rush things and give yourself time to let the new life sprout, then bud, then blossom. That's a process and takes time. Will pray that you can find hope as the seemingly dead plants begin to show signs of new life this spring.

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  49. I have somehow never even come across your blog before this morning, but I needed to let you know how deeply and truly sorry I am for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family, you have lots of prayers heading your way!

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  50. I'm so so sorry. Words are inadequate. Obviously.

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  51. I am so terribly sorry to hear this. I can't even say anything else but I am so very, very sorry. God bless you and your little one.

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  52. I can't even imagine how you're feeling right now. I am so very very sorry for your loss.

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  53. There are no words...I am so sorry.

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  54. Can only begin to imagine the emotions you are experiencing right now. Thank you for understanding your husband, his beliefs, and for standing beside him. It takes a strong woman to be a military wife and you are no exception. I hope you can find comfort for both you and your baby girl.

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  55. hello My name is Evelyn.... I am an Army Wife and while my husband was deployed to Afg or as I call it ASSCRACKASTAN! That was my biggest fear... Is that someone would drive up my driveway or get the call... My husband and I talked as much as we could and before we hung up we always said I love you. I was fear that I would have to raise our son by myself. I would cry everyday but my heart was all fucked up. I am sorry for your loss, I know everyone who has someone overseas, worries to death that the worst possible thing could happen, it just sucks that it had to happen to you and your family. As long as you told him you loved him, at least he knows he was loved and didnt go alone. If you ever need to talk, you can email me Evelynkidder@comcast.net

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  56. You are in my prayers. And my heart is crying for you. I am so sorry. And I feel incapable of providing any words of comfort. Please know that you are beign surrounded in a blanket of prayer.

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  57. My heart is breaking for you & your daughter. I am so sorry for your loss. I'm praying for you!

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  58. My heart is breaking for you. I have no words to describe how sorry I am for your loss, the loss of your daughter and family. You will all be in my prayers.

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  59. Sending lots of love your way. <3 <3

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  60. I am praying for you, your daughter, and all of your family and friends. May you all find the strength to endure this painful time. God bless your husband, a true hero and all those who have loved him.

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  61. I do not know you but I want to express so many things to you. My sympathy, my thoughts and my prayers are with you and your family. My eternal thanks, gratitude and respect go out to your husband, and you.

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  62. I cannot even find the words to convey how sorry I am for your loss. No one should ever have to experience this. I am praying for you and for your little girl.

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  63. I am so very sorry - for you, your family and your little girl.

    Wishing you strength during this time.

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  64. I was wondering why I hadn't heard from you this week. I can't even put into words what I want to say. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking for you, and I just wish I could do something to make it better. I am here for you if you need to vent.

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  65. I am so sorry... I can't even fathom what you are going through...

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  66. I am praying for you and your little girl. I am very sorry for your loss

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  67. I'm sitting at my desk - staring at this computer screen praying that God will give me comforting words to share with you. I can't begin to tell you show incredibly sorry I am for your loss. It's tragic and seems so unfair. Just know that SO many people are praying for you and your family. Thank God for your beautiful baby girl - she is the perfect representation of the union with your husband. I wish I could say something more to comfort you. I love you, even though I don't know you - I love you and I'm praying for you. Thank God for Marines like your husband. Now more than ever, thank-you for your sacrifice.

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  68. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you're going through, but I'm praying for you and your precious baby girl.

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  69. Condolences over your loss. The Marines gave him a meaning and purpose. You and the baby gave him texture and substance. You were the first thing he thought about when he woke up and the last thing when went to sleep.

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  70. Words cannot begin to explain how sorry I am for your loss and for your daughter's loss. You don't deserve this and I will be praying for you and your family during these very difficult times.

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  71. I dont even know what to say to you or think I can put things into words. I am sitting here crying for you and your loss. I cannot imagine what you are going through but I am thinking of you and your precious little baby. You are in my prayers.

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  72. I just want to tell you that I am praying for you and your family. I am extremely proud of your husband for fighting so hard for this country. He's a hero.

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  73. I had never been to your blog before today. Several of the blogs that I read have mentioned what happened. As the wife of a former soldier, my heart breaks for your family. I know that is the worst fear military wives have and no one deserves this reality. I wish there was something any of us could do that would bring comfort, but there are only words and prayers and cyber hugs. I know none of these will take away the pain, but I hope you can find comfort in knowing that God is watching out for the two of you and there is a huge milspouse blogging network that is surrounding you and your precious daughter in love in this moment!

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  74. I'm terribly sorry to hear about your loss and my heart breaks as your star turns from Blue to Gold.

    Your family has given the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom and we'll forever be grateful.

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  75. I'm so sorry for your loss. Our prayers are with you and your daughter.

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  76. I am so, so sorry for your loss and tremendously grateful for your husband's service. Whenever you read this, please know that you are being lifted up in prayer that very moment by so many people who are thinking of you. We're praying for you, your sweet daughter and your family.

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  77. I am so unspeakably sorry for your loss. I am so angry for you at the unfairness of it all. I'm just a stranger--a Navy wife here in Washington state--but I'm shedding tears for you, and for him this morning.

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  78. I am so, so sorry for your loss. THANK YOU for your sacrifice, and THANK YOU Jonny for paying the ultimate sacrifice.

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  79. I am so sorry for your loss....... Prayers for your family.

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  80. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.

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  81. my heart is aching for you and your little one.

    may God bless and keep you. may your beloved rest in true peace in heaven.

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  82. I am so so so sorry for the loss of your husband and father to your baby. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. Please know that I will keep you, your daughter, you family, and your husband in my prayers.

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  83. My heart aches for you. I don't really know what to say other than you can add me to the list of people praying for you.

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  84. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even put in to words what I want to type for you. You have my deepest sympathy....I am so sorry.

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  85. I came over from Katie's blog. I am an AF wife. ((((hugs)))). Know that we are all hurting with you (even though we do not know each other, I can imagine your pain)and that we are all praying for you and your family. I'm so sorry that this nightmare is a reality for you. Your husband did give the ultimate sacrifice for his country. God Bless you and know that God will carry you through.

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  86. Words can't describe how my heart aches for you and your daughter. I am so sorry about your loss. You're without a doubt in my prayers.

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  87. My heart breaks for you. I can only imagine your devastation. Praying for peace and strength for you.

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  88. My heart breaks as I read this post. I know no words can heal this wound, but as a fellow mil wife my heart goes out to you, your young child, & entire family.

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  89. I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and that precious baby girl in my prayers.

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  90. I'm not sure what to say. Just know that I'm praying for you and your daughter. &I will continue to pray. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  91. I wish there was something that I could say to help you through a time like this, but I just want you to know how sorry I am for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers, and I also want to thank you for the service your husband gave to this country. I don't know you but I love you and your husband!

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  92. praying for you. I can't begin to imagine what you are going through, but you are heavy on my heart.

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  93. I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. I know there are no words that take away any pain, but please know that there are people praying for you, your daughter, and your family. Our military families gives so much of themselves to our country -Your husband will never be forgotten is an American hero. God bless you and your family. Please let me know if there anything I can do for you!

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  94. I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that I am praying for you during this sad time.

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  95. I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sitting here crying while reading this. Forever grateful for men like your husband who fight for our freedom. Not even able to imagine how you are coping right now.

    I pray that God will show Himself to you in a huge way, during this extremely hard time.

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  96. OMG!!! I am so sorry I'm sitting here at work with trembling hands and tears coming down making my hands slide as I try to type you about I'm sorry I am and how I wish you were here so I could hug you and tell you that I'm here for you. You are so right no 23 year old should have to go through this and just wish I knew the right words to say to you to comfort you but I don't my heart goes out to you and I am so so sorry you are having to go throuh this please if thier is anything I can do for you please let me know...

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  97. I'm so very sorry for you loss. I'm an Army wife with a husband currently serving in Afghanistan, so this hits home for me. I know that nothing I can say will heal your hurt, but just know that I wish you peace and hope during this awful time. I will pray for you and your family.

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  98. Came over here from Mrs. B's blog. I'm so sorry for your loss . . . please know that we are grateful for your husband's service and your sacrifice. You are much braver than I could ever be!

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  99. I'm so sorry for you and Ariana. I haven't been able to stop crying for you. Y'all are in my prayers...

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  100. There are no words... my heart breaks for you and for your daughter. But she is a lucky little girl, because you WILL get through this. The days ahead might be dark, and the nights might be darker, but you WILL get through this and the light will eventually start to shine again in your heart.

    I am so so so so sorry. You have every right to be sad, to be angry, to be hurt, to be mad, to be devastated and destroyed and filled with sorrow. But you will also continue to be proud of your husband and you will continue to love him and to teach your daughter about him.

    My thoughts and prayers go out to you!

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  101. I hopped over here from Mateya's blog, Our Journey from Iraq to the Alter.

    You are so right! No one should EVER have to go through this, especially someone as young as you are! I am so sorry for your loss and I will pray for you and your little girl.

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  102. I am so sorry for your loss-- I will be praying for you all.

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  103. No words that I say can take away the pain. I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers and thoughts are with you in this time of trial.

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  104. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I will be in prayer for you and your family.

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  105. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

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  106. I found you through the Undomestic Army Wife, and my girl I have tears in my eyes and a heavy heart to hear your horrible news. I am so sorry for your loss and I can't imagine what your going through. Though I don't know you, I want you you to know you will be in my thoughts and prayers, as well as your daughter and both your families.

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  107. I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know what else to say. I hope you can find peace and comfort through this trial

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  108. My prayers are with you and your daughter during this horrible time.

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  109. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm also a military. Hold fast to your family during this difficult time... your baby girl will get you through. I saw your daughter's name, my daughter (also born in January~2007~), is named Ariana. I want to extend my email address to you if you ever need an ear to bend. bellajames@live.com- Sincerely, Deidre'

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  110. My heart is aching for you and your sweet baby girl. I so wish there was something I could say to make your pain go away, but I know there isn't. I will keep you and Ariana in my prayers for peace and healing of your broken heart.

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  111. EI don't even know you and my heart is absolutely breaking for you. Please know that you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers!!!

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  112. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I think that's really all that can be said at a time like this. Stay strong.

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  113. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I will be praying for you. No one should have to experience loss such as this. I will be praying hard for you.

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  114. (here from Kari's blog..)

    There are no words that can ever convey my condolences for you and your sweet little girl. I wish I could just cry with you and take some of your hurt away... I can't even fathom what you must be feeling. Hang in there sweetie, Semper Fi.

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  115. I am a military wife as well and I dread getting that visit. I can't imagine what you and your baby are going through. Though I guess in some ways I can....I understand the military wife part of it and I can understand the losing a husband part of it but just not the two together. You see, when I was just a few months pregnant with my daughter my first husband was killed in a carwreck. Though I haven't lost a military husband...I do understand the military aspect of things and I have lost a husband. If you ever need to talk to anyone I am here for you.

    Dear God, I ask you and your family to be with this lovely wife and their daughter through this loss. Please wrap your loving arms around them and let them continue to feel her husbands presence. Amen.

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  116. Im am so so sorry for your loss! You are in my prayers!!!

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  117. I'm so sorry for your loss. Even as a military spouse, I can't begin to wrap my mind around the devastation you and your family are going through right now. Please know that you and your daughter will be in my constant prayers in the days ahead.

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  118. i'm sitting here not knowing what to say..but, knowing i should say something.
    being an army wife i know the stress of having a deployed husband with little ones at home.
    i don't begin to know/understand what you are going through now.
    i'm praying that through all of this you feel a peace that passes all of your understanding. my heart is breaking for you and your precious little girl.
    i wish i could give you a BIG hug and pray with you.
    my prayers are with you!!!

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  119. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there was something that I could say to make you feel better, but there are no words right now. I've never met you or your daughter, but I will be praying for you in the days to come. I will pray that God will help you be strong throughout the next few days.

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  120. I too am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers! Know that your readers love and support you. If we can do ANYTHING for you, please ask!

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  121. Hi. We've never met and this is the first time I've landed on your blog; I found this post from another blog I read. My heart is hurting for you and your family right now. Please know that there are people you've never even met who are thinking and praying for you. I'm so incredibly sorry.

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  122. I was just crying reading this. I am beyond sad and sorry for your loss. I do not even know what to say....no words could describe how much I feel for you and your families right now. Stay strong and keep loving your little girl that you two created. He will always be around in spirit especially with your beautiful daughter there!! xoxo

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  123. My deepest sympathy in your loss. I'm deeply grateful for his service to our country, and deeply saddened by your loss.

    May God hold you in the palm of his hand and give you comfort and peace.

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  124. I am so sorry for your unbelievable loss. I pray that the Lord gives you comfort and peace at this horrible time.

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  125. Words cannot accurately understand or express your loss and that of your tiny daughter, but your husband served honorably and he was a part of something huge. Know that great thoughts, prayers and hope are being sent your way.

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  126. I thank God everyday for brave men like your husband.
    I'm so sorry this had to happen to you, I hope you know my heart goes out to you

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  127. I wish I knew what to say- but you, your husband and your daughter are in my prayers and thoughts.

    There is nothing that will heal this wound, nothing that will make it easier or more understandable or... well... anything. I cannot comprehend what you are going through, but I am in awe of your courage, your love, and your strength. May your memories of him and your time together always warm your heart and bring a smile to your face. And may your daughter grow up and know that her father was a hero, a brave & honorable man, and that he loves you both- and always will.

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  128. Just found your blog,and as a fellow milspouse, my heart just cries for you! You and your little angel are in my prayers! I'm so, so sorry for your loss! I can't imagine what you're going through.

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  129. Patricia GriffithsMarch 18, 2010 at 12:56 PM

    So very sorry for the loss of your husband, a true hero. Sending thoughts and prayers for you, your daughter, family and all those who have loved him.

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  130. I am just so sorry for your loss. Words can not express how sorry I am for you and your daughter. Your husbands sounds like an amazing man.

    Karen

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  131. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers! I've been crying, as if I really know you. If you need anything, someone to talk to or vent to, we are all here for you!

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  132. I am sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

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  133. I am sorry to hear about your loss....

    ((Hugs))

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  134. From one military wife to another, I am sorry for your loss.
    Tell your daughter everyday about her fabulous daddy.
    May God keep his arms wrapped around you both.

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  135. Nothing I could say seems to be enough. I am so sorry for your loss. You & your little girl are in my thoughts & in my heart. I found your blog through another one. Being in a military relationship myself I knew what was coming when she talked about a knock on your door. Knowing what I was about to read did not make it easier, not that it should. But know that my heart breaks for you & that your family is in the hearts of many.

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  136. Mrs. P, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Words can barely express the deep emotions of the heart and yet you have shared so courageously here!
    I just wanted to say "thank you for your beautiful strength" and to let you know "I care."
    It is my hope and prayer that with every smile and kiss and touch you share with your daughter, that she will bring new joy and a dawning to your life in the days to come -- reminding you of the forever presence of Love! I am so glad that you are not emotionally and physically alone and you have her as a daily gift ~a legacy of your love. May your spirit be comforted in this time of sadness knowing that he lives on in your heart and through your little one. ~heartful prayers and hugs, Jenn

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  137. So sorry for your loss. Your husband is truly a hero. My deepest sympathy and prayers for you and your little blessing of a daugther.

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  138. There are no words I could say to you to help you, but I'm so sorry. You have my deepest condolences. If you ever need anything that I could help you with, just ask.

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  139. Praying for you... I know there aren't the right words to say during this time... and as the shock wears off there will so many emotions to work through. I pray for strength and comfort for you and your daughter. I am truly, truly sorry for your loss.

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  140. There are just no words, and sorry doesn't seem enough.

    You are all in my prayers. May God comfort you during this hard time.

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  141. So sorry for you loss! Will be praying for you and your sweet daughter. You should have someone contact those editors on your behalf to correct the mis-information in the articles. I honor and celebrate your husband today! Thank you for your and his service to our country!

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  142. Oh my goodness. I found out this news through Katie's blog and learned about you and your family. Having just read this post I see how much strength you already have. I'm praying for you and your family.

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  143. I am so so sorry for your loss. Prayers are being sent up for you and your family.

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  144. There is nothing I can say to ease the pain that you must be feeling but please know how sorry I am. I will be praying for you and your baby girl. I am so, so very sorry for your loss. Your husband is a hero.

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  145. It's hard to know what to say. I'm so sorry for your loss. You're right, no one should have to deal with this--you shouldn't have to deal with this. Your husband is truly a hero, and you're baby girl will always know that.

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  146. I am so terribly sorry for this horrific loss. My heart aches for you and I will pray that you can find peace in this tragedy.

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  147. There is nothing to say to ease the pain but I will pray for you and your family. God is in control...I know that may not be comforting now...but it will be. I am so terribly saddened by your loss and that of your family as a whole. I wish I could do more.

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  148. Oh, Mrs. P, I cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. Reading this post has brought me to tears. I cannot begin to imagine what you're going through. As a mil spouse myself with a husband packed and ready to deploy, I have nightmares about that knock on the door. I know you don't know me, but please please please, know that you can contact me if you EVER need to "talk" to an objective ear (ontherollercoaster@gmail.com). I'm sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

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  149. There are no words. I cannot even comprehend the sorrow.
    My thoughts and love (a fellow military love, even if a stranger) are coming you and your beautiful daughters way.
    Don't let anyone tell you not to cry.
    Don't let anyone tell you to "be strong".
    You are all that already, as you are a Marine wife.
    *hugs* from South Africa.

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  150. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your baby girl are in my prayers.

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  151. Words cannot express how truly sorry I am for your loss. No one should have to go through this, but you husband is a hero. He will continue to live on through you and your daughter.

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  152. I cannot imagine how you feel right now. All I can say is that I am so sorry.

    I am thankful for men and women like your husband who sacrifice for our country each day. And I'm thankful for the spouses and children who stay behind and honor their sacrifice.

    May God bless you and help you through this time.

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  153. Rachel, I know we've lost touch over the last few months, but I've thought of you often and lurked on your blog. I am so so so sorry for your loss. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and Ari.

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  154. Words can not express the sympathy I have for you. I will pray for you and your daughter. My heart hurts for you now....

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  156. My heart and lots of prayers goes out to you and your beautiful baby girl.

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  157. Thoughts, prayers, tears for you and your little girl. May she bring you comfort at such a heartbreaking time.

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  158. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you, that precious daughter, and your families. My thoughts and prayers are with you and please know that we are here for you, even if only through the computers.

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  159. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers, I'm so sorry for your loss. May God be with you all, during this difficult time and always.

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  160. Our family sends all of our prayers and thoughts to you and your daughter. Thank you your husband who served our country. Much love and hugs from a proud Navy Family to you.

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  161. There are no words to express how so very sorry I am for this unimaginable loss. My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I will be praying for you all to find peace and healing during this time.

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  162. I am so so sorry for your loss. There are no words, especially from a military wife like me, who has never felt this loss. Rest assured that there are thousands of military wives out there who are thinking of you today, praying for you to get through the tough days ahead, and here for you if you need someone to talk to. I am so sorry.

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  163. I only fond your blog a few days ago. I am so sorry. And I really know that those words will come to drive you crazy because they can't fix or change what has happened. I will not pretend to understand what you are going through but please know that I am thinking about you and praying for you and your little girl. My heart is breaking for you both.

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  164. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. Your family is in my prayers!

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  165. dear sweet, girl, I am so so sorry.

    It is awful and my heart breaks with yours.

    many hugs - Julie

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  166. so very heartbroken for you and your sweet baby.
    please know that you are truly in my prayers. prayers for peace and strength and eventually joy. i can't imagine your pain:O(

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  167. I'm so sorry for your loss. I feel like saying that doesn't help, but I truly feel for you.

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  168. Oh my goodness dear. I know there are no words to even begin to help you with what you are feeling. I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your baby girl are in my prayers. If you ever need anyone, just some random person to cry with, email me and I'll give you my cell number. c.killion@yahoo.com. God bless you and your family and your husband for serving our nation and protecting our freedom.

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  169. I cannot express how sorry I am to hear of your loss. I wish there was something I could do or say to help ease the pain you are feeling. You and Ariana will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  170. So very, very sorry for your loss. xoxo

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  171. There are no words at a time like this. Praying for you and your daughter.

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  172. I wish I could take away your pain, but I know there are no words that can bring back your husband. This will be the most difficult time in your life, and the human spirit is stronger than anything that happens to it. Be Strong for your husband and daughter, you will make it through this. All of us Military Wives are here for you, because we have husbands who just returned from a deployment to the same area of your husband and will deploy again soon to that same area. We will keep your husband's memory in our hearts, and your strength in our minds. God Bless you Girl, may He take away your sorrow.

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  173. I am praying for you. My heart is so heavy for you.

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  174. I am sorry sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family

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  175. I don't know you, but my heart aches for you. I can't imagine what you're going through.

    My prayer is that you will find comfort in a God who LOVES you, and wants to comfort you through this time. It takes a strong woman to marry a strong man (a MARINE!), and I have no doubt that God, if you ask him, will sustain your strength during this incredibly difficult time.

    God bless you and your sweet baby girl now and always.

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  176. My heart goes out to you and your daughter during this time. I'm so sorry for your loss. May God bless you and your husband for his ultimate sacrifice for our country. Though we're an Army family, a military loss is still a loss felt throughout.

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  177. Praying for you and your family. Thank you for allowing your husband to fight for our country.

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  178. You and your precious daughter are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  179. You and your family are in my prayers. I am so sorry you're having to go through this horrid experience.

    Karen
    My Goal is Simple

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  180. my beautiful friend...

    words cannot express SINCEREST compassion I feel for you and your little girl in this situation. My heart is breaking...aching for you. I know that I'm just a blog friend, but your friendship has meant a lot to me. You are a great mother, and even through this, I know that little girl will help you through it. I'll be praying Gods grace and comfort, peace and love to be all around you and your little family.

    pleeeeeease let me know what I can do...would you like me to post about it?? I want to respect you in this situation.

    love you, girl...

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  181. I just want to thank you and your soul mate for the sacrifices you both have made and continue to make.

    I lost my love May 21, 2007 at the age of 21 and am part of an organization that brings military widows together to celebrate our loves and memories, heal together, and remember that the love we share with our heroes is eternal.

    I hope you are able to visit us at:
    www.americanwidowproject.org
    and we'd be honored to send an AWP pack with more info.

    Know that you are not alone and that there are a league of extraordinary women on this path with you.

    With love,

    Taryn
    PMW of CPL Michael W. Davis

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  182. I am so sorry for your loss, this post has brought tears to my eyes. I will keep you and your precious little girl in my thoughts. Stay strong!

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  183. I am so sorry to hear of your husband's loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  184. i am so, so sorry. there are no words.
    a cd that may put some of your feelings into song is steven curtis chapman's beauty will rise. it is full of songs he wrote after loosing his little girl.
    i wish there were words to make it better, but they're aren't. it's not fair or right. I know God will help you thru and cause beauty to rise

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  185. Oh honey. I don't even know what to say. I'm so incredibly sorry. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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  186. so many have said it: "there's nothing i can say" and they are right - we can't make it right, can't ease your pain, can't bring him back...nothing we can say
    and you have every right to be hurt beyond belief, angry beyond comprehension, depressed beyond measure for absolutely as long as you need to be
    as a fellow military spouse, i ache for you and i am so very sorry for your incredible loss

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  187. my heart breaks for you and your family what a nightmare my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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  188. My heart aches for you and your daughter - I am so sorry and i know that those words don't hlep - I will pray and I hope that you will feel all the prayers being sent to you!

    With love -

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  189. I am so sorry for your lose.. I know you dont know who i am and all, but to hear this is so heartbreaking reading what you have written has brought me to tears for you and you little one.. I am sending prayers your way.. What has happened to you has always been my biggest fear.. I hate that this has happened to your family.. All of your family will be in my prayers...

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  190. There are just no words for this kind of unfairness, this kind of sorrow. Thank you to Jonny for his unbelievable sacrifice for our county. Thank YOU for YOUR unimaginable sacrifice for our country. You and Ariana are in my prayers.

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  191. My heart is broken for you and your daughter! I know that there are not any words or actions that can take away what you are going thru and feeling. Just know that you and your family are in my thoughts.

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  192. I love you so much and you are such a strong woman. I am so blessed to have you in my life. Thank u for being an awesome friend.

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  193. My heart breaks for you and your daughter. I am sorry for your loss and will keep you and your precious baby girl in my prayers.

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  194. I'm so sorry! I just came along your blog today. I'll be keeping you and your darling daughter in our prayers.

    Semper Fi!

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  195. My heart breaks at all of the pain you must be going through. I have family in the military, and can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. Thinking of you and praying for you and the rest of your family.

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Hey guys, you must now have some sort of ID to comment. I'm sorry for any inconvenience but the spam was out of control! I still want to hear your thoughts, if you can't figure out the open ID thing, feel free to send me an email, Jewell.Rachel@gmail.com!