I love you Jonny Porto, my love, my Stinky. I miss you more than I can put in to words. Thank you for choosing me to be your wife. Happy anniversary, almost, my angel.
Just Because
Just because I've been happier these days, doesn't mean I'm not sad anymore. I miss him so much, so very very much. There are still moments that I don't think I can do it a second longer. I still have the times where I think I can not live here without him and I wonder how I keep drawing breath. I fight through those moments. I don't imagine they will ever go away. I don't think I really want them to. I don't want to hurt, but when I have those moments I also remember how much I love him. How deep our love was. And how ever lasting our love is and always will be. No matter what. Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary. It would have been 2 years this year. Two years since I said I Do to the love of my life. Until death do us part. I still think back on how we never thought that parting could be so soon. I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. Most likely, I will go to the beach. That seems to be the standard when I need my Jonny time. There are times when I'm at the beach that I can feel him so close that I can close my eyes and reach out and touch him, right next to me. We didn't even get to celebrate one year together, and now I celebrate these anniversaries alone. But celebrate I will. Because I will love that man with every inch of my being until I die, no matter what.
I love you Jonny Porto, my love, my Stinky. I miss you more than I can put in to words. Thank you for choosing me to be your wife. Happy anniversary, almost, my angel.
I love you Jonny Porto, my love, my Stinky. I miss you more than I can put in to words. Thank you for choosing me to be your wife. Happy anniversary, almost, my angel.
I have nothing amazing to say- I cannot fathom your loss and how you deal with it. But I have to say that you are a testament to what it means to be a military spouse... holding it together at the roughest moments imaginable...
ReplyDeleteHappy anniversary!
I'll be thinking of you both tomorrow x
ReplyDeleteI think you're so strong. Happy 2nd anniversary.
ReplyDeleteOh Rachel. :( I can't even imagine how you feel. It's made me happy to hear how happy you are.
ReplyDeleteHappy (early) anniversary. Enjoy your time and know you're loved!
I'll throw some extra prayers up for both of you tomorrow ♥
ReplyDeleteI'm sure he's looking down on you from above sharing the moment.....
ReplyDeleteThe happiest of anniversaries to you two <3
ReplyDeleteEvery single word I read that you blog, inspires me some how. You are so strong, and it's truly amazing. You will be in my thoughts tomorrow, I hope the happy days are more than the sad.
ReplyDelete((HUGS)) I love you girl!!! ((HUGS)) I will pray extra hard for your comfort tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteHugs, honey. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteThoughts and prayers with you on your anniversary.
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary!! I just wish he was here with you. I also wanted to say that I'm so happy that you are happier these days. I wish only the best for ya'll.
ReplyDeleteYour love is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteWow, Rachel you are truly an inspiration to many women out there. You are a strong woman. I love this post & the love that you & Jonny have is a love that no one can come in between you too. I'm so happy for you that you are really having happier days. You will get through the pain.
ReplyDeleteI bet your marriage was more beautiful and full than most people ever experience through a lifetime together. Hang in there, and I know you'll get through.
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary tomorrow! I hope you celebrate your love and have lots of happy thoughts about the time you two got to spend together!
ReplyDeleteNo one can judge the amount of time it takes to feel whole again after losing the love of your life. It's not fair because there isn't a definite or acceptable time frame. All normalcy flies out the window. Keep doing what you're doing the way you want to because this journey is all about you. Stay strong and keep us updated<3
ReplyDeleteThank you for reminding us that true love never dies. I admire you. Mary R.
ReplyDeleteThink about you Mrs. Porto!
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary. I get the happy but saddness going on. It's not an easy thing to balance or move from one to the other. You are doing the best you can do and as long as you wake up each morning then you are succeeding.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you never got to celebrate an anniversary together. But Jonny did a hell of a job choosing a wife. You are so strong and you will never let him be forgotten. He is lucky to have you! I hope you were surrounded by many happy memories of your time together on your special day.
ReplyDeletehey Rachie I love you! and I gave you an award over at my blog you probably already have it but I thought of you!!! love you girlie!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you! I just realized my other comment didn't go through, but I wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you on your Anniversary.
ReplyDeleteI know it passed, but I'm praying for you always. For strength, for guidance, for comfort, for just plain happiness. You seem like a wonderful woman.
ReplyDeleteNo need to worry, you make him proud every day. You do him honor with this blog, you are in his heart just as he is in yours.
ReplyDeletethetrenchline.blogspot.com
Hugs. I hope your beach time was exactly what you needed. I also went to the beach often when I lived in Florida to feel closer to people I loved and lost. It always makes me feel so peaceful, even though I shed lots and lots of tears when I go.
ReplyDeleteCan I just say that your love and time with Jonny of almost 3 years is probably a love so intense that most people don't get it over a lifetime with someone or ever!
ReplyDeleteSo very blessed you are. :)
You are my hero and I am sure others are with me to be so unselfish and loving so deeply. As i sat here and read your words I felt your heart in every word. Thank you for being a strong and beautiful wife to one of our fallen heroes and loving mother. There is a special place in heaven for you in your strength. I am a mother of two Marines. Semper Fi momma you are doing great! My prayers are with you that everyday your heart heels and not forgetting but finding peace.
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