Yesterday, our family experienced a loss. My dad went downstairs in the morning to find his buddy, his true best friend, his English Bulldog sleeping on the couch. Except yesterday, George wasn't just sleeping. My dad lost his buddy yesterday and it's hit our family, especially my parents pretty hard.
"He's just a dog," some might say. But in our family our dogs are family members. If we could take them every where with us, we would. So it's no surprise that the sudden and unexpected earthly departure of Georgie has seriously taken it's toll. I guess the really bad part is he wasn't sick. He was fine. He was playing and totally normal all day and evening before. Dad and mom said good night to him like always and the next morning he was just gone. No chance for a goodbye, no warning, nothing. Just gone.
I've been thinking a lot about this. How sudden it happened. Life is so damn fragile. We are not guaranteed another day, another minute, even another second. We take our time for granted. We assume we're invincible until one day throws our mortality in our faces. We won't live forever. No one will. And that's the scary part. Every one you love, animal or human, could be gone when you least expect it.
I certainly wasn't expecting Jonathan to just... die. I was expecting that since he had a "safe" job, as told to me by his buddies, that he'd be fine and come home. Sure, I was scared. Sure, I knew he was in a warzone and there was always the possibility, but I didn't expect it. Well, I might have expected it a little bit starting the night before after the phone call I received (have I told that story here?) but I hadn't up until that point, and certainly didn't want to believe I did even after.
Do you kiss your loved ones goodbye when you leave? Do you tell them you love them, even if they've pissed you off? I'm not just talking about when they're deployed or in danger or when you're not going to see them for a long time. I'm talking every day. I'm a stickler for that. I will say I love you to my loved ones every time I'm done speaking to them. On the phone, in person. Even if I'm flaming at mad, I'll still say I love you. Because I know how true it is. I wasn't exactly happy with Jonathan our last phone conversation (maybe one day I'll tell that story) but I still told him I loved him, because I still did. Even if I'd been a super bitch to him on the phone.
I guess I'm just saying we need to remember to embrace life and learn how special the people and animals we love are to us. We chose to love them for a reason. Don't let that reason be clouded by irrationality or mood swings.
Like I said, funny how such deep thought can be brought on by a "silly dog" but that dog was well loved and is now very much missed.
And before I sign off, let me just say, I love you guys. Maybe not like I love my family, but I certainly appreciate you. I appreciate the comments I receive, I appreciate the support, I appreciate the healthy criticism (although the mean people can shove it), I appreciate and love those of you I've become friends with through this blog. So when I'm gone and all that is left are my silly ramblings and musings, I want the world to know that I did appreciate everything I was given, even on days when my mood clouded reality and I stupidly felt like I had nothing to be thankful for.
In loving memory of Gorgeous George. Georgie Porgie Puddin' Pie. You might have been a turd but we loved ya all the same. We're all turds in this family, anyway. Enjoy humping Jonny's leg in Heaven and constantly purring at him to play with you - he's had too much peace up there and needs to some excitement. I'm sure he'll play with you up there, big boy. Keep each other company until we all meet again.