PTSD, Suicide, And Our Military

I'm friends with a lot of military widows. I try to stay involved in the community and I cherish the stories I hear from each of the women I meet. I have met widows who have lost their husbands in so many different ways. In combat like my own story, in accidents at home, in not-accidents here in America, from illness, and from suicide. While we are all spread across the board, it is quite a striking amount who have lost their spouse due to suicide.

To be honest, I don't know how to really jump into this topic. It is not my own story, but it was one I have come in contact with frequently enough to raise alarm. It is one that is becoming far too common in America today. And it is one that needs to be addressed.

Earlier this week on Facebook, I shared a photo of a soldier who had been listed as missing. His family was reaching out via social media to find him. They had listed his last known whereabouts, what he was driving, as well as the fact that he had been suffering from PTSD. They were asking anyone for information and encouraging their community as well as the nation to search for him. A few minutes ago, I was saddened to learn the soldier has since passed on, and according to police it was due to a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

It weighs heavy on my heart to report that Erik Jorgensen - 26 years old - took his own life on July 19, 2013.

First, I want to offer my most sincere condolences to Erik's family. This is such a hard time they are entering and I pray they have support and love to move through this time.
I also offer my condolences to all of my friends who lost their loved one to suicide.
But here's the thing, condolences, well, they just aren't enough.

It is reported that 20 service members PER DAY commit suicide. In fact, the most recent article I read stated 22 service members per day, equaling 1 service member every 65 minutes, takes their own life. This includes both "new" and "old" veterans. Veterans fresh from war, like Erik Jorgensen and many of my friends' husbands, as well as veterans who have been out of war for years.

Hello America! THIS IS A PROBLEM! It's not only a problem because it is service members (those who are fighting for the very freedoms our nation defines ourselves by) but more generally - people. Something is wrong if any group of people is taking their own lives in such rapidness.

These people are hurting. They are going to war and coming home and they are in pain. And it is our nation's responsibility to take care of them! I have seen first hand only minor effects of PTSD. (And my use of minor does not mean "not scary" or "not serious" it just means I have not seen even close to what so many others have witnessed.)  I have personally seen the pain and hurt.  I have seen lives and persons transformed after coming home. And I am left wondering what I can do? Yet I still see nothing done. This. Is. A. Problem.  And honestly, I wish I had the solution. I really, really wish I could fix this. Ultimately, the ideal solution is no more war. But while we are at a time of war, what can we do?

What can we do to protect those who protect us? I know the first step is awareness. As a nation, we need to be aware that this is an issue and we need to work at the large to bring these numbers down, to protect those who protect us.
I believe another step is acceptance. PTSD and any other mental disruption that may come from seeing/being in war should not be seen as "bad" or "crazy" or "career-threatening." Hell, I'd even go as far as to say it is expected. It is war. If you aren't shaken by it, well that, to me anyway, is the crazy part! We need to let these guys and gals know that they are not abnormal or fucked up for their "issues." We need them to know they can still lead successful lives and be accepted in society and not  shamed because they have been at war! And we need to support them. Help them. Reach out to them. I know so many families of suicide victims were reaching out. But who else was? Is it the families sole responsibility to reach out? Should they have to deal with it alone?! No! It is all of ours. Something has got to give. This is not okay. We should not be standing by while this many people are dying at their own hand from going to places they were sent on behalf of this nation! It is our duty and our responsibility to do something greater.

So I'm starting here with step 1. Awareness. I want you all to know how not-okay this is and I want you to spread the word. I want you to join in a campaign to stop this and to support our veterans, past and present. Support them so they may feel the support and love and so they may know their worth! So they know this life is worth it.

To my veteran friends past and present, you are loved, you are appreciated and you are worth it. If you are feeling that things are unmanageable please, please I urge you to get help, reach out, let us help you. And to my fellow military families and friends, if you know someone is struggling please, please encourage them to get help. This is a battle we must fight together.

Veterans Crisis Line 1-800-273-8255
Military One Source Crisis Prevention   1-800-273-TALK (8255)
TAPS 1-800-959-TAPS (8277)