and I'm just getting more awesome...
and I'm just staying the same!
These jokes always crack me up. Especially this year, man is 2012 the year for weddings in my circle of friends. And if one were to take advantage of the number of open bars at the weddings I've attended, one would certainly be wasted. I, however unfortunately, haven't really taken great advantage of that since I always have to drive home, but I could if I had a ride. Then it would be My friends are getting married and I"m getting wasted, literally...
Anyway, enough about open bars, this is about weddings (yeah, yeah they go hand-in-hand). A lot of my friends have or are getting married this year, and another handful have gotten engaged this year. 2012 is a year for LOVE! Or maybe that it's just I'm creeping up on being, ahem,
A friend of mine (forgive me I can't remember which) asked me if going to all these weddings, hearing about all these engagements, was upsetting. If it was hard for me with Jonny gone to see all these people around me happy and in love, basically.
The short answer to that is No.
But the question certainly got me thinking.
Should it? Should it be hard for me to be around other people so in love when my love can't be here with me? I don't think so. I am so happy for my friends who are getting/have gotten recently married. I am ecstatic that I get to see that joy and love on their faces, shared with their loves, that I once had. That I still carry in my heart.
Is it tough? Sometimes. I wish that Jonny were there to celebrate my friends' marriages with me. We did get to attend one couple of friends of ours wedding shortly after we were married. We had a blast. Jonny was so much fun and such an amazing wedding date. We would have had a blast this year at all these weddings, for sure.
Sometimes it's hard hearing certain songs. It still pangs my heart when I hear Canon in D, the song I walked down the aisle to. Ava Maria, Walking on Sunshine, those were big songs in our wedding. And of course OUR song, THE song, "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis. That one is tough. So far, so good - it hasn't been anyone's song yet. Eventually it may and I'll cross that bridge when I come to it (probably with a few good tears, I rarely get through that song without tears since). But yes, there are some parts that are tough.
But I want it very clear - it is not tough because I am not happy for my friends, or because I can't stand seeing others happy or a "why do they get what was taken from me" sort of thing, as some may think. It's tough because it brings back memories. Happy memories, definitely, but difficult memories none the less because I miss them. There is no ill will from me toward any happy newlyweds. Heck, I was once a happy newly wed too - it's an AWESOME feeling. I hope that my friends feel just as awesome as I did back then. That they feel that love from their new spouse and the promise, hope, and excitement their vows and the embarking on a new life bring. That is the exciting part about weddings - the sparkle in the newly weds eyes, the promise of an exciting new future. It's beautiful and amazing and I love being there to share in it.
I am a sucker for weddings, I love them. I love love. Even without my love here on earth with me, I love it. I miss him, but it doesn't change the fact that I also love my friends and am happy for them finding their happiness.
So yeah, it's a little tough when I hear certain songs or have certain memories, but no I wouldn't say it's hard or upsetting, per se - it's fun and exciting!
So to all my 2012 Newly Weds and New Engagees (not a real word...) Congratulations! May your life be full of love, laughter, happiness, and just enough tears to keep you grateful!