To Find the Words

I've been thinking of the words all day that I would type on this September 11th, nine years after the attacks.

What's been running through my mind is... this is why - this is why my Jonny was over there, this is why we are fighting. He gave his life for our country, to protect this great nation. It wasn't for nothing. It was for freedom, it was for America.

And I just keep thinking of the widows and surviving families of the victims of the attacks on the Twin Towers. Nine years later, I wonder how they're doing. I can't imagine how hard this day must be for them. The anniversary of their loved one's death, paired with news coverage to remind them that it is the anniversary. Not that they'd forget, but I can't imagine how hard it would be to not only have to have the anniversary but also have it in your face on television all day. Or maybe it makes it easier for them, to know that they are still remembered. I don't know, I haven't been in that exact situation. But I just keep thinking of them. I want to find them, even just one, and give them a hug. Tell them I love them and that while our circumstances are different, we walk this journey together.

I wish I had something more eloquent to write. Last year, as we were planning for deployment, I reflected on where I was when the attacks occurred and what they meant to me now as a Marine wife. What does it mean to me now as a Marine Widow? It hits so close to home. His death was not in vain. I am proud of him. I am so proud of his choice to become a Marine and to fight for what we believe is right.

So in case anyone has forgotten, this is why we fight. Let the political mess aside for the day and remember why we fight, remember what happened to our nation and thousands and thousands of people on that tragic day.

31 comments

  1. Wow! This was such a powerful post. Thank you.

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  2. This was beautifully written. Your posts always catch my breath, in a good way :) God bless your husband and God bless America!

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  3. ((HUGS)) So true. So very true!!!!

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  4. Oh, and I saw a documentary one time about the widows and surviving families.... well, some of them. They had a reunion and became friends over the tragedy....

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  5. Very well said. I have many gold star friends (more than I would like) and Sept 11 reminds us all why their husband's fought. Big hugs to you and your little sweetie.

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  6. One of my former students lost her dad that day. He was FDNY. Her mother was one of the strongest people I have ever met. She really hated the media coverage. She would have rather mourned with her two children in a more private way. I think she just wanted her kids to be shielded and to not be known through the rest of their lives as 'the kids whose dad died in the Towers'. What an amazing family though

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  7. Hey,
    I've been reading your blog for about 8 months now and I just thought about that 2 days ago : have you ever heard of Lisa Williams ? She can communicate with people who are dead. I live in Canada and she has a show... Anyway, I feel stupid but maybe you could speak with him for one last time you know...
    http://www.lisawilliams.com/

    I know you know it, but people think of you and your beautiful daughter.
    Take care ! Marika

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  8. ahhhh, but YOU HAVE made that sacrifice - and you do get it. you understand what these families have endured. i am thankful for your husband's sacrifice and teach my children to be thankful and to remember. not just 9/11 (though we DID take time saturday to do just that), but we also remember the sacrifice of those that are STILL protecting our freedom. thank you sweet friend. though i wouldn't wish the last 6 months on you - i WILL take time to thank you!!!
    blessings,
    misty in NC:)

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  9. I thought of you yesterday! I'm thankful for what your husband did! He's a hero and will always be remembered. You have something to be very proud of! Your strong!

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  10. I find myself at times thinking about the children of the 9/11 victims and our war fallen. As you know my dad was killed in Vietnam (or if you didn't now you do). I always have comfort in knowing so many people will remind the children that are too young to remember, I was 9 mnths old at the time myself, that their parent was a hero. I get sad at times too because I know it's a hard thing, to always wonder what my dad was really like. So I get how you ponder on this day and feel an attatchment to the 9/11 families. I feel an attachment to the your daughter, in knowing how it may be for her. But also knowing that there are so many people that will surround her with love like I was and how she will grow up with such a deep respect for her father that no one will ever touch.

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  11. You have such a beautiful heart.

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  12. I love the way I always shake my head in agreement and find myself saying mmmhmmm or amen throughout your writing!!!

    It is a day that needs to be remembered, but we need to show just as much peace and honor to the survivors as we show to those that passed

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  13. This was a wonderful post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I wish we "knew" each other and I would give you the big hug you deserve.
    ~Sue
    http://armylifeadventures.blogspot.com

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  14. YOU are such a BEAUTIFUL person and you touch my heart and give me shivers everytime I read your posts. If I ever saw you I would want to HUG you~

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  15. Thank you. I was five blocks from the World Trade Center when the second Tower was hit. I never forget and I will always appreciate all who sacrificed so much for me and for our country. Heart and prayers are with you.

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  16. You are an absolutely beautiful woman and I thank you for posting such amazing things and making me feel so proud of my husband and yours for keeping this country free. I'm always praying for you.

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  17. This is very well said, Thank you, your husband, your daughter, your whole family for what you sacrificed for our nation. God bless America!

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  18. I wish I could just hang out with you one day. You are such a caring person. I am glad I found your blog through my dear friend Carol. May God give you peace knowing it wasn't for nothing.

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  19. As I bloggie reader of yours, I believe that this is ONE of YOUR BEST posts!

    Thank you Dear Soldiers, and I pray for them all and their families....

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  20. 've been following your blog for a couple months now and my heart aches for you. (I'm also 23.) Thank you for having the courage to share your thoughts and feelings. You are a strong, beautiful woman and I'm sure that God will bless you through this amazingly hard time, even though that seems contradictory. Thanks also for sharing your thoughts on 9/11. I live near Dallas and I went to the 9/11 Never Forget project at the SMU campus...over 2,000 little flags planted in the ground...it made me cry thinking of all those people who died that day and all our brave men and women in uniform over in the Middle East. Your husband did not die in vain, he died fighting for our freedom, and I want to thank you for YOUR sacrifice as well. People often forget to thank the wives and family back home, the unsung heroes in this fight. Keep being strong!! I'm an Army girlfriend (someday to be Army wife) and it has made me be a better, more patriotic American and a stronger person in general...Mark will be deployed next year, possibly to Afghanistan...he's a Field Artillery officer and if he is given the option, he'll choose to be on the front lines. He wants to go over there, he doesn't want to be sent to Korea which he says would be a waste of his time. He wants to do what he's been trained to do: fight the enemy. It's scary, but at the same time, I'm so proud of him and I wouldn't have it any other way!
    God Bless you and your little girl! Please keep sharing your thoughts...I'm sure you've touched more lives than you'll ever know.

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  21. very powerful wonderfully written post!

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  22. I think this is extremely eloquent and touching. And you're absolutely right: while your circumstances may be different, you share something in common with all these 9-11 widows. I'm sure they would love to hear from you: to cry, laugh, and continue on this journey together with you. I can't imagine all the emotions you must be feeling on a day-to-day basis, but the fact that you have this blog as your creative outlet is a wonderful tool. I imagine there are countless women who visit and that you help them tremendously without ever realizing it.

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  23. This was so inspirational and I'm so glad you wrote it. My husband just left earlier this week on our his and our first deployment and reading something like this makes me remember how proud of him I am. So, thank you. And I keep you in my prayers.

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  24. just found your blog and love it! The name is awesome and your header makes me wanna cy. just read this post. you really have a way with words, girly. Looking fwd to following your journey!!!!

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  25. FYI 9/11 also included The Pentagon and a plane that went down in PA. I can't stand that 1 is constantly remembered but the others are not. Each life and tragedy should hold the same value.

    Regardless good post ;)

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