Is it January Yet?

I can't believe it is still December. I have not even made it through one month yet and it feels like it's been years since I've kissed my hubs. Argh, come on January, come on 2010, come on baby, come on summer!!! Sometimes I really do wish there were a fastforward button, at least for the very little remaining part of this year, I'm getting anxious!

I got a phone call this evening. Do you realize just how much someone's voice can change your day? I hadn't been having a bad day, it had just been a couple days since we'd talked so I was really aching just for the voice (never mind the touch) of my hubs. He sounded so very tired (it was about 3am his time so I can only imagine how exhausted he was) but it was wonderful to hear his voice. He even sang to me, that "Kiss Me Through the Phone" song. We used to sing it to each other when he was gone on training exercises. It made me giggle. :) I love when he sings to me. When he first PCSed to NC and I was still in MD, we would call each other late at night and he would sing me to sleep. I thought it was rough being separated then, man I didn't know nothin'!

Also, I have realized I have not even started any of my deployment goals. I'm a total slacker. Learning languages, reading books, learning new skills. I've been napping and running errands, those are my days. Buuut in my defense, it's not like I don't have lots to do to get ready for Miss Thang and I totally have a sufficient reason for napping (unlike when I was in college and napped all the time. At least now I can blame it on something -other than too much drinking- or someone rather).

I've been thinking a lot about career choices again lately. It was brought to my attention by one of my mom's girl scout 'friends' (I use that term lightly) that I have a degree and am using it to make babies and be a wife. I had a friend call me in a slight frenzy one night over nearly the same thing, she feels her career and academic achievements had been put somewhat on the way-side. Here we are, degree holding women doing what? She at least has a job, a very admirable one in my opinion, helping less-than-fortunate families. I worked in a daycare. Not that daycare work isn't fun and rewarding, it just has nothing to do with my degree and just about "anyone" can do it (although I'd like to see some people try, it ain't easy!). I assured her though, as I had to assure myself earlier when I was thinking about it, that not everyone can do what we do. Not everyone can pack their lives up for someone they love, move hours away from what they know and live a totally new lifestyle. Not anyone can give 100% of their full support and loyalty into someone who is gone more often than home. Not everyone can learn the ways of the Marine Corps life and commit to all that is expected of them. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's not like I'm a stay at home wife to some wealthy typhoon, this isn't exactly the easy life. And while it may seem like I do "nothing" to some, I'd like to see them walk a minute in my shoes and not say that what we, as Marine Corps (and other military) wives do is hard work. That being said, I still want to pursue my own career and my own dreams. The hardest part in doing that for me right now is still deciding what I want to do. Why it's such a tough decision, I don't know. I've thought about teaching, about doing therapy work of some sort and just the other day I told my mom I wanted to go to school to be a vet. That's where I have trouble. There are so many things that interest me I can't choose just one. Maybe part of the reason I haven't started any of my deployment goals just yet, I have too much fun dreaming about things I could be doing instead of actually getting them done... Is this lack of motivation? I don't really know for sure. I know I'm going to do something I've just gotta decide what it is. And besides, I'm already doing the best jobs in the world. I'm a wife and I'm damn good at it, and I'm about to be a mom, from what I understand THE single hardest job in the universe. A job that is never done. Ever. So I guess for now I'll just be content with the jobs God has given me and keep dreaming of what I do until I make some sort of decision... And I am gonna get started on those deployment goals... eventually ;-)

2 comments

  1. Yay for a phone call!!! And you will figure out what you want to do one of these days - I'm still trying to figure it out as well.

    Check out my blog - I've given you an award. :)

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  2. I just came across your blog, and I know this post is a few weeks old but it struck a chord with me.

    I've been struggling with the thoughts about my own career and started applying for jobs while my boyfriend is deployed. But in reality, I don't really want have a career, I want to be a wife and a mom! I'm also a degree holding woman, and there's a bit of me that feels completely unambitious because of this. But you're right, not every woman can adjust to the rigors of military life and dealing with deployment. So thanks! :)

    Good luck with your lil one!

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