Home Sweet (Messy) Home

My daughter staying in bed until a little after 1030 this morning is one indication that we had quite the busy weekend. We did so much while we were in Florida, I think next time we go will need to be just for some relax time because so far all the times we've been down there (including the time I went with Jonny, almost two years ago, for Thanksgiving) has been rushed and jam-packed with stuff. It was good, though. As I was saying in my Pre-Memorial Day post, so many positive things were going on, I can't complain about how busy it was.

Memorial Day was nice. We went to Bay Pines for their Memorial Day Ceremony which was really nice. Man, Florida is HOT though. I thought I could hang, living in North Carolina and all, and I could - in the shade - but man once you hit that sun.... woah.
Congressman Bill Young spoke and mentioned Jonny by name. That was not something I was expecting, but man did I well up with pride. My babe has touched so many lives, and it just continues to amaze me. He was truly such an amazing man. The greatest man I ever had the pleasure of knowing, and I am one lucky gal to have been loved (and to continue to be loved) by, and to love such a wonderful person. No, I didn't realize that just now, I knew it when he was here too, geez I knew it when I met him. I had a good (great) man. But seeing so many other people (who weren't head-over-heels in love with him) having such great things to say and who are so glad to have known him, or even those who didn't know him but still have such great things to say, continues to show to the world how absolutely wonderful he was.
After the speeches and the music at Memorial Day, Ariana and I went up with the Gold Star families for the placing of the wreath and meeting Bill Young. Then I took my baby girl and we walked along the lines of flag and stone marked fallen. Like I said before, I wanted to visit with his fallen comrades as well as honor him. They are all important.

After the ceremony we went to have some lunch and then to the Military Museum. We were hoping to see the brick that had been donated in honor of Jonny in its place in the Remembrance Walk and Garden but unfortunately it hadn't been put up yet. It's ok though, we got a picture of what it looks like and it is really nice.

Then we headed over to his oldest sister's house for some delicious cook out food. I enjoyed eating entirely too much (mmmm) and feeling awkward as everyone watched us on a couple of news channels. When the press asks, I am open to talking about my husband. I am so very proud and I believe the American people need to see it, to know the true impact of war. I still hope and pray everyday that I represent my husband and my fellow Marine (and greater Military) Spouses well. Buuut it's still awkward seeing myself on tv... Ariana however, she is so cute no matter what medium is used!

After a long day of travel yesterday, we are back at home. While I loved visiting and being with his family (and my mommy, too) it's nice to be back at home. I've grown quite fond of having my own space the last few years or so and sometimes I just need time to myself to unwind, especially after such a hectic weekend. Today will be filled with lots of domestic goodness - trying to get my house in order. We have so much stuff, which isn't a bad thing, I just need to figure out where to put it all! When it comes to cleanliness, I am good to go. I regularly clean my kitchen and bathroom and anything that would be considered "dirty" because, well, that's just gross. Buuuut I must admit, I'm kind of a slob. Ok, the term "disorganized" may be nicer. I am just so bad at putting things away! I am also a bit of a packrat - I HATE throwing things away. And all the things I do have, I want to be able to see, if ever I should need them. But, it's time to utilize our handy-dandy storage shed and make my house look like a home again instead of it's own variation of home/storage facility! Wish me luck that the domestic gods are on my side today and I get a lot done.

I hope everyone enjoyed their Memorial Day weekend and had some good food and family time (in between remembering the fallen, of course) and continues to have a good week!

Also, a quick note to the nasty commenters: I respect people's opinions. Part of the fun of being human is that we all have different perspectives and opinions and we are all different. Feel free to share your differing opinions. HOWEVER, if you do so disrespectfully, it's not going to be posted. In fact, it's probably not even going to be read. And if you're just writing to say mean or hurtful things about me or my family because you think you have some clue about us, what we're going through, or an idea of what our intentions may be, or anything else about our situation, well frankly you're just a turd and you need to learn compassion and empathy. I only choose to share certain aspects of our lives as this is public view, I do so because I enjoy blogging, it helps me, and I've heard it helps others too, so if you're going to criticize the way I do things or the why of how I do things, well, I don't care for your opinion in that case and you're better off just keeping your nasty comments to yourselves. I know there are a hundred times more people supporting us and rooting for us to do well, so those few of you that feel the need to leave mindless rude comments are just honestly, not worth my time.

44 comments

  1. Good for you..hate trolls. You keep doing what you are doing, you are making your Military Family proud as well as your beloved Jonny.

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  2. I'm a packrat, too. Happy cleaning! I'm glad Memorial Day went well for you.

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  3. I'm so glad you had a nice Memorial Day weekend. I thought of you guys, as a fellow Marine Wife, I made it my goal to make sure my family & friends took a moment to really remember those who gave there lives for our freedom. Your such a strong woman. I look up to you in so many ways! Keep on going girl, your making your husband so proud!!!! As for the nasty commenters, that makes me sick to my stomach that someone would even waste there time leaving a comment. They need to get a life!

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  4. You sound like you're doing wonderful and frankly, from this side of my computer that makes me happy. I'm glad you had a nice Memorial Day. Or at lleast nice as possible. You're updates always amaze me by how strong you are.

    Don't worry about those mean judgers out there. There opinion doesn't matter. Those that do are supporting you!

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  5. Mrs.P you say that you hope you represent military spouses well. I want you to know that I feel honored to have you represent this Army wife! You have been through so much and kept your grace and beautiful spirit. I dont know what I would do in the same situation, but I doubt I would do it as well as you. Happy Memorial Day!

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  6. You didn't marry a man...you married a hero. With that the bar is raised and the expectatitions are higher. You are an amazing example of the true meaning of a military wife. While my heart aches for your journey, I am in awe of your strength. You are showing a dignity and grace that is rare and I commend you for it.

    Never doubt that as proud as he made you, you are making him that proud, too.

    Praying for you and Lil' Marine as well.

    J.

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  7. I can't imagine why anyone would post a nasty comment anywhere. Karma bites back!
    Glad to hear you had a good memorial day. So good that you got to see the other Gold Star families. This is a bond you will always have, though I sincerely wish that it weren't the case.

    Anyway, keep going. I think you're doing well, and the blogging is a positive outlet.

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  8. Glad you had such a nice weekend! Good luck with all the organizing! I hate that too!

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  9. First, I'm glad that you weekend was fun-filled, and that Jonny has touched so many lives!!!

    I completely understand about the "messy" house. Its only gonna get worse as Ari gets older!!! The girls do so much damage with clothes and toys... Its like they can't wear one outfit per day.

    And SECONDLY... Who in their right mind has something negative to say about you???? What the hell have you done with ill intentions??? If you need to go on a beat down, I'll go with you, or I'll watch Ari while you go. For real!!!!

    Have a beautiful day!!!

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  10. I just spent my morning crying my eyes out from watching the toutube videos of your husband being brought back home. You are such a strong woman and for people to be saying negative things to you is so rude. So many people go through this and every military person deserves the love and respect as your husband did when he was brought back! He touched so many people's lives obviously! You should be proud and you do represent well! Don't worry what other people think because they won't ever know until they have to go through something like that.

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  11. I think you are doing the most amazing job of how you are handling this whole Marine Wife Life. I was a Marine Wife for 10 years active duty and now he is medically retired, but I still wear the label proudly. I have to say Im completely addicted to your blog too. Your husband, WOW what a wonderful awesome example of one of our, and now God's, Finest! Marines are one of kind and a Marine's Spouse is in a class all their own (I'd like to think). You are in my prayers!!! Semper Fi Laura

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  12. Screw the haters. You have so many people rooting for you. Much love! Good luck with the house and organizing.

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  13. We went to Washington for Memorial Day weekend, and it was amazing. My step-father and his brother are marines, (My step dad is 72, his brother is 80), it was amazing to see the young people come up and shake their hands to thank them for serving our country. I thought of you a lot and of your daughter. I enjoy reading your blog, my heart aches for you everyday for your loss. I can never say enough to show you how much I appreciate all your husband did for our country.

    I'm glad you had a good weekend, welcome home. Good luck with the housework!

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  14. It sounds like you and baby girl had a great time. I hear you on the domestic gods needing to chip in. I'm clean, I just have a hard time keeping up on the picking stuff up and putting it away. Keep on doing your thing woman, you are incredible and the haters are pathetic. Loves!

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  15. I loved you on the interviews! You did such a great job and I think you are just an amazing person. You make life seem like there is a light at the end of a dark tunnel no matter what you do :) I just wanted to encourage you to stay strong and hold your head high! You are a beautiful women, mother, and wife and don't ever let anyone tell you any different!

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  16. Glad you had a memorable weekend, too bad it had to be memorable in such a sad way. Glad you are hanging in there and surrounding yourself with love. Are you kidding me with your PS on your most recent post, the nerve of some people?! Delete/block the haters, they can spread their own nastiness in their own little world, not yours.

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  17. I am new to your blog and I think that you are amazing. Thank you so much for your sacrifice.

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  18. I am glad you had such a great weekend and that your hubby, yourself and your little girl were remembered well. :0)

    And boo on negative people! Lord knows that military wives and families don't need that. We have enough negativity in our lives, thanks, to have room for other people bringing it in. My family loves your blog! Thank you for sharing with us!

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  19. I am one of your biggest fans and will continue to root and cheer for you and annoyingly wave my pom-poms in the faces of any of those negative idiots that can't keep their hurtful comments to themselves.

    I too enjoy blogging, it's a release and helps lighten an otherwise overwhelming load.

    Keep on blogging and hit the "delete" button on those who apparently have no joy in their pathetic lives so are determined to ruin others.

    Yo go girl!

    Domenica

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  20. Glad to hear that your weekend (although insanely busy) was a good one and you were able to be with family. I thought of you often on Monday as I do everyday. I have to say I love the piece of my home too and I don't really enjoy the domestic duties either, but I so don't enjoy a mess, tend to get a little antsy when the house is in a shambles. Have fun cleaning, I am suppose to be working. Ain't so bad to be able to work from home though! Have a great week. Hugs to you and baby A!

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  21. Rachel post a new pic of Ari! i am sure she has grown SO much!

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  22. I remain a prayer warrior for you and your daughter!
    ~AM

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  23. You are awesome!!! :)

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  24. You do make the military community proud... So proud and still so lucky to have you as one of our own.

    Haters make me sick. Why read your blog if they are going to say bad things about you? What is not to love anyway??

    Ps. Please post pics of baby girl. SHE IS SO PRECIOUS... you knew that already, duh.

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  25. Nasty comments, here? you can't be serious. Well I know you wouldn't lie about it... so I guess you are serious! thats ludicrous!

    sometimes people really suck.

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  26. I wish I had an excuse as cute as that little one for my messy house! :) Glad you had an overall good weekend. I can promise you that there are a lot of people reaching out because YOU are a beautiful person who has touched a lot of people.

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  27. Although we all wish you weren't in a situation that you were the right person for these TV spots and to be the face of military spouses on Memorial day, I think it's good that you did/do this & that you continue to raise awareness & represent military families. No matter how I feel about your politics (though I maintain that differing opinions do NOT a troll or hater make), I don't think you should worry about whether you're representing military families correctly. There's no right or wrong way, as long as it's happening. It's something people need to see, to remember, & to think about.

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  28. I haven't posted a comment before, but I keep up with your blog. Thank you. Thank you for sharing about the goings-on of your days; your strength is truly an inspiration. I cannot imagine what you go through on a daily basis, but I want you to know my thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  29. Keep doing exactly what you're doing young lady. You have every right, because your Johnny fought and died to protect those rights.

    I found your blog through the daily news article and follow it all the time now. You make all the military families proud. Don't worry about the naysayers.

    I'll pray for you and your child each and every day.

    God Bless you.

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  30. i just wanted you to know your blog is so nice to read... i am a fellow military wife and havent lost my husband but that is my biggest fear and yes it sucks that you lost yours but to know someone young as been through it and is able to raise thier child and live life as best as possible is so comforting....

    and the packrat thing i so completely get!! i have every card i have ever been given (since i was born!!) drives the hubby crazy but its a memory that i just cant get rid of!! i have tons of boxes labeled that helps with some organizing!! good luck on organizing and raising that beautiful little girl she is very lucky to have a strong mommy as a great example!!

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  31. I am glad you had a good weekend. That really boils my blood when people make haterful comments. They don't serve your precious time. {hugs}

    I agree with everyone, you do make the military family proud!

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  32. ugh. unfortunately, trolls seem to just be part of the blogging package. i want you to know how absolutely in awe i am of your strength and courage through this. i am new to your blog, but not new to loss. my loss is different - i blog about losing my daughter - but i think that you are truly an inspiration. i know you probably get sick of people saying how strong you are but your strength comes through in each and every post. praying for you and that beautiful little girl of yours, and though I wish that he were still here with you, I want you to know that I am so very grateful to Jonny for his heroism and sacrifice. He, and all our fallen, have a permanent place in my prayers. God bless xx

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  33. Hey sweetie! Look i really only have one thing to say and its I LOVE YOUR BLOG! You have made me cry and laugh and love my husband so much more i see so much now and i make sure now that we never go to bed mad and always say i love you 2000 times a day i want to say thank you so much for bloging and for being so strong you have made me strong and learn to love every single day with him like its our last thank you so much!

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  34. Back in April, i was just searching the web, and i came upon your blog and i read the story about how your husband was killed and that he didnt get to meet his little girl, i was/am touched so deeply by your stories. I added you blog to my favorites, but not long after i did so our computer crashed and i lost your page! I shared your story with many of my Armywife friends and even with my mother, while telling you storing and reading it all i could do was cry. you truely are an inspiration.
    well this morning i was thinking about you and i was wondering how you and your little one were doing so i started searching for you i had remembered the title a little pink in a world of camo, i searched and search and search then i finally found you, and here i am and let me just say that i've spent my entire day reading your blogs, which I am in germany and its now 433pm on Thursday. your blogs are absolutely amazing, reading from the beginning till now, am so happy for you that your dealing with everything that is being thrown at you, and you doing it with grace and strength.
    As an Armywife, I am proud to have you as a fellow military spouse, and i hope everyone else can be as strong as you! you've touched my life, and i will never forget you.
    You and your family are in my prayers.

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  35. Good for you for standing up for yourself. It's very brave to put your political opinions out there because plenty of people will criticize. I happen to not share your political views but that's completely beside the point. I hate the petty meanness that comes from both ends of the political spectrum and I believe that people should be able to say what they feel (nicely) and respect others who disagree, and ideally we can all learn from each other. But you shouldn't have to put up with nastiness.

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  36. You are doing an AMAZING job of honoring Johnny! Your daughter will be so thankful to know how much her parents loved each other and how her father is an American hero. Do not let anyone get you down!!

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  37. I thought of Johnny this memorial day. I know I don't stop in to comment much, but I'm hear reading. *hugs*

    Dropping in to let you know that you've landed on my milspouse blogroll. Stop on over sometime and check it out. Get to know me and other spouses! Thanks!

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  38. I hear ya about being clean, but not necessarily tidy! Glad you had a good time with your family and you are such an amazing person and an inspiration. Lots of good thoughts going your way.

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  39. Hi! I am new to your blog...but I just wanted to say that my heart goes out to you. As a fellow military wife, I can't possibly imagine what you're going through and where the strength you have comes from. I don't even know you and I am so proud of you, proud to know that military wives can overcome devastating, life shattering happenings with dignity and grace.

    You are in my prayers!

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  40. I'm new to your blog, but I have to say I've been crying my eyes out reading all your posts. I am an Army wife as well and I just want to say that your courage and your strength is amazing. I am proud to have you as a fellow military spouse. You are doing a fantastic job honoring your husband, your daughter is going to thank you one day for all of it. You've touched my life, and i will never forget you.
    You and your family are in my prayers. Keep your head up and stay strong, do not let anyone get you down.

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  41. I hope the cleaning went well! :)
    I am a packrat too!
    Are you going to stay in MD for a while?

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  42. As for the "haters" ( hate that word but it's appropriate), there is a special place for them, you know where.

    As for you, and how you are continuing on, Your beloved is, I'm sure, smiling down from above, proud as any man can be! I think of you on a regular basis, usually when I am complaining about my "Joe", and the fact that his calls are always "inconvenient" for some reason or another (the new thing is he catches me as I am walking into the restroom - without fail, every day for the past week or two). I believe that you are stronger than you know and are setting an incredible example for not only all the military spouses out there, but for your daughter as well. That when faced with adversity, you can handle yourself with grace and dignity, even in the midst of a full on breakdown, you can still be a polite person. You are truly an inspiration, I wish you the best of everything in life!

    Have you thought about working in the survivor outreach program, once you finish your degree? I hear it's amazing.

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  43. Rachel-

    I am SO sorry to read the last part about people leaving rude comments. I apologize on behalf of them-- someone needs to apologize, so I an avid reader and FB friend will step up to the plate and do so. They must be jealous (let me explain) yes, what you are going through sux, it sux big hard nasty 'stones... BUT you have so many wonderful people behind you (do THESE commenters really thing THEY would have the same support?, maybe not) Even though we have not personally met, I admire you, your strength, and I am looking forward to working on Operation Dry Sock in in Ohio, with you when you are ready. I am also very proud of the fact that you are taking this loss with everything you have. Most young women, (mothers/newly married) would crawl into a ball and wither away. You are setting a great example for your daughter!

    Please keep up the good work! I am very proud that you want to pursue your education and get your Masters. You, I think, would make a great counselor-- those that have actually lived the situation are the best with helping others!

    I am an Army (soon to be wife :)) and I am proud of my Guy-- and I am damn proud of ALL our Military they are true heros! And the families that support them are even bigger heros in my book.....

    *hugs* Leeann

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  44. Again, you are an amazing woman. I cry at almost ever post. You are so inspirational and don't deserve what has happened to you. God Bless!

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