I Will Always Be a Marine Wife

I just need to share some sad news with all of my blog friends.
Sad isn't even the word to describe it, but honestly at this point I can't find the words to describe it. Angry, empty, crushed, confused, shocked, alone, unglued, hateful, depressed, beaten down... none of these words can do justice to my feelings.
I am being forced to do something that no 23 year old woman should ever have to do. I am being forced to do something that no one should ever have to do, not at this early in life, especially. I am being forced to lay the love of my life, my saving grace, my entire world to rest.
Sometimes hashing it out in words helps, so I'm trying to blog about it. To wrap my mind around why God would do this to me, to him, to us. I can't fathom how any of this has happened, it all still feels so surreal, there's no way this is real I am having a nightmare. Unfortunately this is a nightmare I am unable to wake up from.

On Sunday 14 March, Cpl Jonathan Daniel Porto, my one and only soul mate, died while on operations in Helmand Province, Afghanistan when the vehicle he was in flipped over. On Monday 15 March, a CACO came to my house to notify me of the terrible news. I'm not even going to begin to describe my reaction at that. On Tuesday 16 March I went to Dover AFB to welcome my beloved husband home. It is not the way I had intended to welcome him home, I had planned that in a few more months he'd be walking off the bus, I'd be standing there with a 6-8 month old Ariana with our signs, smiling, waiting for him to enter our arms. I did not ever imagine I'd be watching an honor guard escort a metal box draped in an American flag off a jet. Never did I imagine that on Friday I would be heading to Florida to make funeral arrangements. This is not how it was supposed to happen. It is not fair. I am so angry, I'm hurt... I'm... I don't even know. I'm missing him. I miss him. I need him, I want him here with me, and my wishes will never, ever be met. I do know that he is here with me, just not the way that I desire. I do know that he has been with Ariana, I know that he has spoken to me and her both and I pray with everything that I am that he will continue to do so.

If you are interested in reading more about this, google has all kinds of articles on him. I want the world to know, however, that some articles mistakenly put that my husband joined the Corps only because he could not find a job. He joined the Corps because he was looking for meaning and purpose in his life and because he felt a calling to be a United States Marine. And he was a DAMN good Marine, an AMAZING husband, and even from miles and miles away, a WONDERFUL father.

I will forever hold you in my heart, Jonny. I love you much more than words can express. I miss you so much it hurts. I will be seeing you again.

If the Army and the Navy,
Ever look on Heaven’s scenes;
They will find the streets are guarded
By United States Marines.

Semper Feet, Excitement, Phone Call, Survey... Whew!

Well guys, the sock drive is officially under way and even has an official name!

Semper Feet
Operation: Dry Socks

(I'm still working on the button, but as soon as it's done I expect to see it on everyone's page *wink wink*) Thank you so much for all your enthusiasm! Please keep spreading the word, hit me up that you are interested and once assessing your non-creeperness (lol) I'll pass along my address that will be the central gathering spot of all things socks and baby wipes. I'm really, really excited about this project, so all of the enthusiasm and help I am getting is just making me even more... excited!

I got a call from Mr. P today, those are my favorite days. He is doing well, and assures me that he continues to be bored (woo hoo) even though he is "in the field" moreso now than before. He warned me of rumors of a possible extension (barf) but I was already prepared for that, being the good Marine wife that I am. I told him about the sock drive and he is super stoked. Like really, really amped. He said it's a SUPER idea, everyone will appreciate it so much and he is now anxiously anticipating the arrival (woah, alliteration!) of socks and baby wipes to share. We decided that we'll start on a company level, since there are thousands of guys in the battalion, and go from there. I want each guy to get a few pairs of socks, which is why we're starting on a smaller scale, if we went BN wide, everyone would get like one pair and that would kind of defeat the purpose. Plus it's really hard to get in contact with everyone in the battalion so we're going to start out small and see how we can grow! But just letting everyone know that he is aware he'll be in charge of it on that end and he is really excited and appreciative of the efforts for helping our troops out!

Also, thanks to everyone who suggested Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. This is only day 2 and I can barely walk. I guess that's a good thing, one step closer to being skinny, but really stairs are just not my friend today. Man, I'm out of shape... here's to fixing that!

I saw this lil survey bug posted on a few people's blogs and I really like it so I'm going to post it here. Just a little Getting-To-Know-You about me and the Mr. P. I thought it was appropriate as we have a few new visitors stopping by with sock-lovin'.

1. What are your middle names?

Daniel and Theresa

2. How long have you been together?

A year and 7 months, married for 10 of those months!

3. How long did you know each other before you started dating?

We met and hung out and then just started dating... so like, a week maybe?

4. Who asked who out?

Well, we started dating and then Mr. P made it clear that he wanted to be exclusive shortly thereafter. I did drunkenly tell him his "fortune" one night while we were out: that he was going to fall in love with me, ask me to marry him, get married and live happily ever after. And here we are!

5. How old are each of you?

He just turned 26 last Friday, I am 23.

6. Did you go to the same school?

Nope.

7. Are you from the same home town?

Negative.

8. Who is the smartest?

Me, duh. Ok, just kidding. We've got different kinds of smarts. I'm book-smart, he's "tactical" smart... his intelligence is applicable to real life... well, his life anyway ;-)

9. Who majored in what?

I was a psychology major with a concentration in human services and a certificate in personnel/industrial relations. He majored in several trades and a little bit of screwing off before majoring in being one helluva Marine.

10. Who is the most sensitive?

Hmm... We can both be really sensitive. I am sensitive more often, I think.

11. Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?

Well... I guess between MD and NC... we went to FL together but we met up there, didn't go as a couple so I don't know if it counts!

12. Who has the worst temper?

Me. Hands down.

13. How many children do you want?

I think he wants a lot. He came from a huge family. Right now I'm all set with one, so the final number is still up for discussion...

14. Who does the cooking?

Me, I like to have it ready when he gets home... if I'm not asleep on the couch ha!

15. Who is more social?

We are both the type that will just start talking to anyone. That's kind of how we hit it off. We had no friends in common, no one introduced us, him and his friends just started talking to me and I started picking on him and we hit it off.

16. Who is the neat freak?

We're slobs. He'll tell you he's the neat freak but he's full of doo-doo. I am very anal about how my things are though. They may be messy, but they're messy my way.

17. Who is the most stubborn?

Ohhh man. We're horribly stubborn people. I think he trumps me by a hair.

18. Who wakes up earlier?

Helloooo he's a Marine, he's awake before the sun. Me? I'd prefer to sleep til noon

19. Where was your first date?

Well we met at the bowling alley, our first date was kind of a weekend away in Baltimore I guess...

20. Who has the bigger family?

Him. He's one of 8 and 2 half siblings...

21. Do you get flowers often?

More often than I would ask for! He's on top of it :)

22. How do you spend the holidays?

Last Thanksgiving we were at his parents in FL and then Christmas was spent with my parents in MD. This Thanksgiving was with my family and we were supposed to do Christmas with his family but he left before then. So we had an early Christmas where we put up our tiny tree and opened a couple pressies and I made a delicious dinner.

23. Who is more jealous?

Me. He's very secure, knows I've only got eyes for him. I know he's only got eyes for me but I still will cut you if you look at him.

24. How long did it take to get serious?

We met at the end of August and he proposed on the 1st of November soooo NOT LONG!

25. Who eats more?

OhEmGee HIM. His daughter definitely has his appetite!

26. What do you do for a living?

I hang out. He saves the country.
Ok, seriously, right now I'm a stay at home wife and mommy. I hold down the fort and make sure everything stays in order. And he fights for freedom... and on his days not out fighting he's on base fixing weapons, for the most part ;-)

27. Who does the laundry?

I do most of it, he does the majority of his uniform stuff though, too smelly for me!

28. Who's better with the computer?

Probably me...

29. Who drives when you are together?

Him, I prefer to just ride along

30. What is your song?
Our wedding song was "Fools Rush In" by Elvis but there are tons of songs that are special to us.

The Miracle of a Phone Call (Day 80)

First of all...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. P!

The love of my life has hit 26 years of air-breathing wonder.

The day we got engaged, if he looks a lil drunk it's because he 1. was teary-eyed from proposing and 2. had a few shots of Jack in him ;-)

A quick shout out to him... the most amazing man I've met. The man who made my life make sense, who made everything work out, the best kisser and most tolerable person (I mean, he deals with me, HELLO) with the sexy back and poop-brown eyes. I hope you had a safe birthday filled with your favorite kind of MRE. :)

Riding in a humvee in AP Hill Va, stole the pic from his FB

A few hours ago, I got just what I needed - a phone call from my hottie tottie Marine babe. I had been getting increasingly agitated and grumpy the past week from not hearing from him and hearing all this crap and not know what to believe and... ah it had just built. But this morning when my phone rang with that weirdo number I felt my heart lift and the weight begin to fall off my shoulders. My babe is ok, he sounds good actually, and even less tired than the last time I talked to him (weird because I'd assume he's busier now, probably more energized due to the lift in the boredom). He is attached to a new company, Charlie, which is neat because that is my "deployment wife"'s husband's company (are you following along... haha). He said they let him use the phone for his bday - woop woop.

He asked what we were gonna do with the house. I told him I'm still undecided and he sounds to be in the same predicament; awesome, no help from the Mr... but it's ok because we've still got time (I'm going to be saying that until we run out of time and are stuck). He agrees with me though and doesn't want to get stuck with a mortgage but he also told me that he might choose to stay with this unit longer so he can go on the MEU with them next deployment (it's rumored to be a MEU next in 2012, we'll see how true that is...) I'm not sure how I feel about this possibility but that's all it is right now a possibility, every time I talk to him he's got a different career idea. He mentioned base housing again but I just don't think that'd be the best fit for us, I could be wrong... and he also said we could look for a bigger place to rent, key problem with that is places bigger that I've looked into cost more than the mortgage on our house would... ah.

But it wasn't a totally business convo, that was just one thing he was wondering about. We talked about what he's been doing a little bit and he continues to assure me that he's not going on patrols but staying at the company's headquarters... however that may be set up I don't really know, but it is slightly comforting that he's not actively patrolling. We talked about BINGO (dammit I forgot to tell him about O-69!) and baby girl and just told each other we loved each other (what an awkward sentence...). I don't usually detail our convos but I'm pretty excited about hearing from him sooo... deal. Heh.

One bad part about phone calls though, is every time I get off the phone I think of things I forgot to say/ask. Is his address different since he's attached to someone new? (I'd imagine not, his mail will probably just take a bit longer, I'd assume). How's the weather? (Doesn't seem important but I'm always curious). And there are other things too but I can't remember them right now so they mustn't have been that important. But it happens everytime we talk on the phone I think of a million things I want to tell him or want to know after the call has ended. Oh well, something to talk about next time I suppose.

In baby news, I think someone is hitting a growth spurt today. 6 weeks old on daddy's 26th bday haha. She has eaten every hour since she's been awake and has been a total grumpy pants. Now she is taking her mid morning nap, hopefully she'll be in a better, less hungry, mood when she wakes up. Now I'm deciding what I should do while she sleeps (other than blog which I'm about to be finished woop woop!) A nap is sounding super appealing to me right about now...

How cute are these tiny feets? And yes, my shirt (actually the hubs') says "I Heart Hot Moms"

A Few Points About This Moment (and the Previous Ones)

At this current moment (and a few moments over the past week):

• There is a crap ton of yucky, cold, white sky poop on the ground. It's still coming. And the entire state of Maryland is shut down. So much for getting things done.
• Yucky, cold, white sky poop is plotting a return next week. North Carolina sounds more and more appetizing as the days in Maryland go by...
• There is a tiny little angel asleep on my lap, making the cutest cooing noises in the world.
• Said tiny angel will be a whole month old in 5 days. Tiny angel's mommy is feeling both proud and oddly sad about this fact. My baby's growing up!!
• There is a little extra weight on this blogger's body. Wii Fit this morning, told me I was overweight. And that I need to lose like 22 lbs. Ouch, Wii Fit, take it easy.
• I will be working my buns off, literally, to nix said 22lbs before hubs come home. He will find me attractive and desirable. And so will I. (Meaning, I'm sure he'd find me attractive and desirable even if I'd grown a mustache, after such a long time in a desert with Marines... but I'd like to find me attractive and get that good ol' confidence he loves back and in full swing)
• My identity may be in question. Best Buy sent me a letter congratulating me on my recent TV purchase and asked if I wanted Geek Squad protection. This TV was apparently bought on my last bday (12 Dec 09), when I was at my baby shower in JVille... Oh and it was bought in my maiden name. Best Buy, so far, has not been helpful in answering the question of whether or not someone has "borrowed" my identity. Nothing's showing up on my credit cards, so I'm left to wonder if someone decided to use me to open their own credit card and purchase a TV? Let the investigation commence!
• My college has sent me to collections. For a 23 year old just heading out into the world I have immaculate credit. It is established and very high. I don't mean to toot my own horn but... beepity beep. Anyway, I get this notice from collections saying I owe my school 122 dollars. I've been out of school TWO years. I have never received a bill. I was on a full ride for school. All my bills had been taken care of... TWO years ago. Questionable identity again?
• There is a certain Marine in a certain desert who is WAY missed. Ok, there are lots. But this one is particularly important to me and therefore to this blog. We have finally made it past the 2 month mark, so that's good... I miss him way bad, but I did get to talk to him for 46 minutes last night. It was pretty awesome. He sounds ok, but super tired. I can't wait to cuddle him. He's so warm. If he were here we most certainly would be playing in the snow, but since he's not I'm hiding out inside getting cabin fever.
• Mom has cooked dinner and I'm going to go eat, when I return I will try to catch up on my fave bloggy friends. I've been a slacker, mostly because I'm never on the comp just my dumb Blackberry Storm and I haven't quite figured out Blogger for BBstorm. Sad.

Blizzard Bloghop (During a Real Blizzard!)

Hello Blizzard Bloghop visitors (if you haven't heard about Blizzard Bloghop and you think I'm losing my marbles, check it out here). I am currently writing this while here in Maryland it is snowing and is supposed to be a real-life blizzard. Woah! (Edit I woke up to like a gazillion inches of snow this morning)

My name is Rachel, but here in bloggy land I simply go by Mrs. P, the abbreviated form of my (newish) married last name!

I started this blog in order to organize my crazy thoughts of everything that was going on at once. As a newly married, newly pregnant Marine wife, I had a lot going on. Now, as the wife of a deployed Marine with a newborn, the fun (craziness) just doesn't stop.

Let's start from the beginning. In 2008, I was a wild-girl party animal. I graduated from the U of MD Baltimore Co. May 08 with a degree in psych (with honors) and a specialty in partying/being a drunk (with no dignity). I was planning on going to law school, but the one I got into (with a scholarship) was in Michigan and well.... I just didn't wanna go to Michigan. SO I decided to work at the Child Development Center on the Army post I've lived next to basically my whole life (Army brat married to a Marine... oops hehe).

That fateful evening I met my hubs (the dark Italian one on the left)

While working there, I met some people and one fine day, was invited to go bowling at the base post Bowling Alley. It was there that I met a group of rowdy, strange, funny, and mildly attractive Marines. One happened to be named Jonny, and I found him particularly dorky. (haha he's gonna murder me when he reads this). Anyway, this silly guy and I ended up hitting it off and then he kissed me, and we always like to say it was Love at First Kiss. After that we had a few ups and downs and he ended up proposing to me 3 months later.

6 months after that, we were married. And 2 weeks after that, we found out we were expecting (Honeymoon Baby!!)! Yea, we don't waste anytime, but I've learned as a Marine Corps wife that there is no time to be wasted! So we happily (and not so happily, like I said, ups and downs) spent our lives in the surrounding area of Camp Lejeune, NC. Until December when we found out Mr. P was headed for the sandbox. On Dec 8, I did the hardest thing I've done yet in my young life (yes, even harder than labor), I said a temporary goodbye to my other half.

On Jan 15, I did the second hardest thing of my young life and gave birth to our gorgeous daughter. Now, together, Ariana Ralyn and I send hugs and kisses (and toilet seats...) to our beloved hero from around the world. And here I am to blog about the days (hours... minutes... seconds) of my Life as a Marine Wife, waiting to be reunited with my one true love.

Thank you, bloghoppers and other bloggy friends, for stopping by and taking a minute to read about lil ol' me!

2009 Recap and Reflection (It has to be done)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so cliche I know I know. But I mean come on, you either reflect or you write resolutions. And I'm not one for sticking to promises I make on NYE (typically these promises are made in a semi- to very- drunken stupor and consist of not drinking as much next time, hence no need for them this year!!) so I'm going to go with the former and reflect upon my 2009. An interesting and semi-eventful year in the life of Mrs. P.

JANUARY
Mr. P and I rang in the New Year at my parents house in MD. In December, I trekked down to his new duty station of Camp Lejeune NC to rescue him for Christmas and by the grace of God he actually had a nice chunk of block leave, something we're not all too familiar with as of late. So I got him for like a solid 2 weeks. The typically 7 hour drive took more about 11 and I got a speeding ticket but it was well worth it. If I could go pick him up from Afghanistan right now and bring him home for New Years I so would. Our New Years Eve this January consisted of him being the DD for once, a trip to our (at the time) new friends Jackie and Rob's and then hanging out in the clubhouse boozing. I got a little more than tipsy and acted like a douche and broke a beer bottle - total party foul. But all in all we had a decent night and enjoyed each other's company. It's going to be a very different NYE this year. January also brought a surprise visit to NC in the later part of the month, where I drove down and surprised him with a weekend trip. He's pretty hard to surprise, too. I can't think of anything else monumental in January. He was my fiancee, I was planning our wedding (ok my mom was, I was just saying "yes" or "no" to things) and we were separated. I worked at the Child Development Center on the Army base and from what I recall that's about all I really did. Oh and we also got our engagement photos done, which turned out beautifully.

FEBRUARY
February brought our first Valentine's Day together and Mr. P. did not dissapoint. I'm really hard to surprise, but he managed it with a trip to one of my favorite places, Ocean City Maryland. We spent a long weekend in a condo and I taught Mr. P how to pick crabs for the first time. He said it was good but not worth the work and I questioned the stability of our relationship (just kidding, he enjoyed the experience enough that it was ok with me that he's too lazy for crabs. bah-ha-ha). We enjoyed OC during off season, got some old timey photos done, went to Assateague Island and saw the ponies, and just had a lovey dovey weekend. He also surprised me with my Tiffany's necklace, the Elsa Perreti open heart. Love it, never take it off. After that weekend, I don't remember seeing much of each other, he headed back to NC. I still lived at home, we were still engaged, I was still planning (helping to plan) the wedding, and working at the CDC.
Wedding planning also brought with it bridal shows, which were a lot of fun.

MARCH
I don't remember much of March so I'm assuming it wasn't eventful, just a continuation of wedding plans. I don't even have any St. Patty's Day pics, so I can only assume I didn't do anything. Which is weird, I love St. Patty's Day... Oh look, thanks to facebook I have an idea of something I did in March... More going out. The pics from this night are prob from Jan or Feb but were posted in March, so it counts

Oh, oh more March. That's right, I lived at home and went out. A lot.


APRIL
I think during March/April Mr. P was in Fort AP Hill, VA for training. I know he came home the last weekend of April because we went down to my college and enjoyed some partying and had an incident on the side of I-95 that may or may not have lead to the conception of our daughter (according to the doctor it did not -she wasn't conceived until our honeymoon- but, I mean, it could have). This was also the month of my fantastic bachelorette party, in which we took a limo into Federal Hill (Man I love Fed Hill and wish I could be partying out there tonight) and I got good and slammed and enjoyed time with my best friends. I also enjoyed a magic show and a bar simultaneously (basically the best idea ever)

My bridal shower was also during this month, in which family and friends all got together to celebrate the idea that I was getting married soon. It was also all about me (and kinda about him) which I enjoy.
I also enjoyed frequent going out during this month.
April was basically a month of finalizing wedding plans and enjoying my last few minutes of "singledom" before the big day.

MAY
This was the "big month" for me. The month in which my life changed for.ev.er (think 'The Sandlot' when you read that). Definitely good change, but lots and lots of change.
First, I got married to my soul mate. Probably the single best day of my life. My wedding was perfect, I had so much fun, looked like a princess and it was all about me (well us, but I was ok with sharing), what could there be not to love? Of course I have a million and one pictures from that day so I'll just share a couple...

Ok I'm going to stop there with one ceremony, one reception, and one after party pic or else I'll be going through them all day, overloading you with wedding photos (that you can just as easily see if you go through the thousands - I'm not exaggerating - of pics of me on facebook) and will never make it back to December. So, anyway, May. We got married and had a grand ol' time doing it. (And I'm still so freaking in love!!!) and then we honeymooned, at Onslow Beach in Jacksonville, NC. Ok, so it may not have been an ideal honeymoon location, but we thought he'd have to work (by the time they said he could have leave it was too late to plan anything huge) and we wanted to be together. So we rented a cabin on the beach, partied, loved, found out we were pregnant, and found a house to rent. Yes, all in one week!

Then, I quit my job and moved to NC to be with my husband. Word was that he was deploying in August, so we wanted as much time together and for him to see the progression of my pregnancy as much as possible before leaving. And in case you didn't know... moving sucks.
JUNE
After we got all married, pregnant, moved and settled, June brought a sigh of relief and took off the pressure from the chaos that was May. This didn't last long, though, as my hormones were starting to kick in and I was a total d-bag mess. Mr. P got ready for a training mission to California and I prepared for my first month alone. Little did I know I'd be too sick to stay by myself. I spent the month in and out of the hospital, miserable from pregnancy and ended up in MD with my parents. It wasn't a fun MD trip, I felt like doodoo, wanted my husband, and wanted very badly to not feel poopie anymore. This pattern continued into July, until Mr. P came home.

JULY
July brought one of my best friends getting married. On July 25, 2009 my good friend and sorority sister Shannon married her high school sweetheart, so we trekked up to MD to witness this joyous occasion. We had a great time, but unlike the months before I wasn't partying (pregnant) and Mr. P was instead. I still had fun though.

AUGUST
Both July and August brought very hot months to Eastern NC, where the P family and friends enjoyed LOTS of beach time. I had finally started making friends and meeting people in Jacksonville so I was becoming more human again. Mr. P and I are huge beach bums, so we spent all of our spare time at the nearby beaches.
My parents came down for their first NC visit and we had a great time. We also found out in August that our little peanut is a GIRL and with this news began to prepare accordingly.

SEPTEMBER
I don't really know of anything monumental that happened in September. My life began to get a routine as I made more friends and started volunteering in the Battalion Family Readiness Office. Oh, I got my first non-family visitors to our house in NC. My bestest, Justin, came and saw us for a long weekend with his girlfriend at the time and we took our first trip to Myrtle Beach. At the end of the month, two of my sisters Shan and Theresa came and spent a long weekend with us as well. It was nice having little pieces of home in NC.
OCTOBER
October brought with it the stresses of pre-deployment. Deployment rumors were running rampant and we never knew where he'd be when. It was rough. I worked in the BN as much as possible to help during this time. I also worked (and quit soon thereafter) in the CDC during October. It definitely wasn't a fun month, just a busy one. I don't remember much of it, as it seemed to fly by. Also, I'm getting lazy with photos as I started blogging before these months and there are photos already on. I'm kind of over this whole post actually, maybe it was a bad idea! I'm sure there was fun stuff in October too, but I just don't have too many fond memories of this month!

NOVEMBER
November followed October's footsteps as far as the stress of predeployment. Mr. P and I continued to prepare for little baby P's arrival and set up her nursery (somewhat) which I am very glad he was here to partake in. We went to MD for Thanksgiving and my mom threw me a surprise baby shower, which was a HUGE success. I enjoyed time well spent with friends I hadn't seen in months and getting fabulous gifts for my daughter. While this time it wasn't all about me, it was all about her, it was still just as good! The end of November also brought with it the sad news that my husband would indeed be leaving, and leaving very soon...

DECEMBER
Clearly, I'm getting lazy here. I even thought of not even posting for December, since anyone who's been reading at all knows what's up in December. Basically, I had to say a sad "See ya later" to my love, as he headed off to war. We began our first deployment. I also turned 23, a non-fun age. In happy news, I got closer than ever to my "NC gals" or "Marine Wife Friends" and am learning the true meaning of friendship, regardless of distance, from both these women and my good friends pre-military. My NC gals threw another shower for me (and my friend Cait) and baby girl got some more fabulous gifts, although Lori has not put up pictures from this yet so I still can't share them - bad Lori! Oh and we bought our house, and (I just found this out from the realtor a couple days ago) the construction company broke ground on our house this week! Christmas came and went and I anxiously awaited January, which will FINALLY be here tomorrow, so I can seriously get ready for Miss Thang to be here. In a few days, I can say I successfully survived a month of deployment, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

If you hung on through all that, well mad props to you, you deserve some homemade cookies! All in all, it was a great and very eventful year, and I have so much to be thankful for.

Here's to a wonderful 2010, a fresh start, and so much to look forward to already. I'm already excited for (and dreading writing) next year's recap!

Hope you all have a faboosh New Years Eve, be safe, and if you're drinking, have one for those of us who can not indulge this year!!

Is it January Yet?

I can't believe it is still December. I have not even made it through one month yet and it feels like it's been years since I've kissed my hubs. Argh, come on January, come on 2010, come on baby, come on summer!!! Sometimes I really do wish there were a fastforward button, at least for the very little remaining part of this year, I'm getting anxious!

I got a phone call this evening. Do you realize just how much someone's voice can change your day? I hadn't been having a bad day, it had just been a couple days since we'd talked so I was really aching just for the voice (never mind the touch) of my hubs. He sounded so very tired (it was about 3am his time so I can only imagine how exhausted he was) but it was wonderful to hear his voice. He even sang to me, that "Kiss Me Through the Phone" song. We used to sing it to each other when he was gone on training exercises. It made me giggle. :) I love when he sings to me. When he first PCSed to NC and I was still in MD, we would call each other late at night and he would sing me to sleep. I thought it was rough being separated then, man I didn't know nothin'!

Also, I have realized I have not even started any of my deployment goals. I'm a total slacker. Learning languages, reading books, learning new skills. I've been napping and running errands, those are my days. Buuut in my defense, it's not like I don't have lots to do to get ready for Miss Thang and I totally have a sufficient reason for napping (unlike when I was in college and napped all the time. At least now I can blame it on something -other than too much drinking- or someone rather).

I've been thinking a lot about career choices again lately. It was brought to my attention by one of my mom's girl scout 'friends' (I use that term lightly) that I have a degree and am using it to make babies and be a wife. I had a friend call me in a slight frenzy one night over nearly the same thing, she feels her career and academic achievements had been put somewhat on the way-side. Here we are, degree holding women doing what? She at least has a job, a very admirable one in my opinion, helping less-than-fortunate families. I worked in a daycare. Not that daycare work isn't fun and rewarding, it just has nothing to do with my degree and just about "anyone" can do it (although I'd like to see some people try, it ain't easy!). I assured her though, as I had to assure myself earlier when I was thinking about it, that not everyone can do what we do. Not everyone can pack their lives up for someone they love, move hours away from what they know and live a totally new lifestyle. Not anyone can give 100% of their full support and loyalty into someone who is gone more often than home. Not everyone can learn the ways of the Marine Corps life and commit to all that is expected of them. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's not like I'm a stay at home wife to some wealthy typhoon, this isn't exactly the easy life. And while it may seem like I do "nothing" to some, I'd like to see them walk a minute in my shoes and not say that what we, as Marine Corps (and other military) wives do is hard work. That being said, I still want to pursue my own career and my own dreams. The hardest part in doing that for me right now is still deciding what I want to do. Why it's such a tough decision, I don't know. I've thought about teaching, about doing therapy work of some sort and just the other day I told my mom I wanted to go to school to be a vet. That's where I have trouble. There are so many things that interest me I can't choose just one. Maybe part of the reason I haven't started any of my deployment goals just yet, I have too much fun dreaming about things I could be doing instead of actually getting them done... Is this lack of motivation? I don't really know for sure. I know I'm going to do something I've just gotta decide what it is. And besides, I'm already doing the best jobs in the world. I'm a wife and I'm damn good at it, and I'm about to be a mom, from what I understand THE single hardest job in the universe. A job that is never done. Ever. So I guess for now I'll just be content with the jobs God has given me and keep dreaming of what I do until I make some sort of decision... And I am gonna get started on those deployment goals... eventually ;-)

Sleepless Nights (Day 13)

When I haven't heard from him in a while, sleep does not come easily.
I slept maybe a full total of 2 hours this past evening. I went to bed at 3am, it is now 8am, and half the time in between was spent tossing and turning and trying to will myself into dreamland.

However, as I finally fell (back?) asleep sometime after 719am (last time I looked at the clock...) I dozed off just enough to have a dream that I had finally gotten a phone call. And here I am awake because the phone actually did ring about a half an hour or so later! I'm pretty sure, especially now, that I am psychic.

Last night was not fun, I had myself all worked up about not hearing for a while and then this morning right when I needed it most was the voice I needed to hear most in all the world. Amazing how just a few minutes can turn your whole day around. I think now I'm going to try to actually sleep!

Oh, and happy Monday everyone!

A Photo (Day 9)

Just a photo to share. This is from the day hubs deployed. I was having contractions basically all day (ick) from stress and what not so he was feeling my hard belly and talking to Ariana before he left. His Ssgt's wife snapped this pic of us and passed it on to me. I absolutely adore it.

Thinking Happy Thoughts

Ashley at Kiwis and Cocktails is basically one of my favorite bloggers. Not only are her posts so funny and light, does she enjoy some good drinks and fun nights out, and have beautiful wedding pics in her header, she also nominates me for lots of awards. Go check her out now. I command thee!

Speaking of the award, she has nominated me for this Happy Little Award:

And the rules of this award require me to list 10 things that make me happy and 10 bloggers who make me happy as well.

Thinking about happy things and being positive is part of my First Goal of Deployment, so this is great timing for me to think positively about what makes me happy and not what (or who) I am missing so very, very much at this moment.

So on with the happiness...

1. My Husband. Total duh, but my hubs is the light of my life. He is the one person who just, as cliche as it sounds, completes me. He makes me smile and laugh and feel loved. He thinks I'm beautiful he does his best to make me happy all the time. I am thankful and sooo happy I met him and have him in my life.Before he left
2. My family. I am soooo lucky to have the family that I do. Especially a mom who will sit up and webcam with me until I fall asleep and a dad that will buy headphones to make sure HIS granddaughter can listen to music and an auntie that continues to send me love and support and prayers through a tough time... Among many many other things. They are really an amazing group of people. And if ya met them, you'd totally get me - we're quite a silly bunch.
3. My daughter. Feeling her move is definitely one of my favorite parts of the day. I love my big belly and knowing that my little baby is in there growing away and will be here to meet me in only a couple weeks.33 weeks
   
4. My friends. I could seperate friends into a few categories... I've got my home friends, my Phi Mu sisters, and my USMC friends. They are all equally important to me and do so much to enrich my life. They are all helping me out so much through this deployment, from phone calls and messages to hanging out all day and road tripping to another lonely Marine wife's house - we have a blast. Being with my friends makes me happy, makes me laugh, and helps me to keep on truckin'.
5. Christmas. With everything else that's going on in my life right now, I have not been paying much attention to my favorite time of year! Mr. P and I set up our little 4ft tree and had a mini-Christmas before he left. It was a good time and a nice way to celebrate for a holiday we'll miss together.Blurry pic in front of our little tree
   
6. Webcams. I got to see my hubby last night. It was amazing. I'm telling myself not to get used to it, but am secretly wishing he could get on right now. Webcams are pretty awesome. I also webcam with my mom at night so I don't feel so alone in my house.
   
7. Pedicures and massages. Man do I LOVE being pampered!!
8. Dogs. Mr. P and I are very excited to start looking for a puppy when he gets home. We both wanted one so badly but couldn't have one per our lease, so when he comes home and we're in the house we own, we're going to entertain the idea. We might not get one right off (settling in, new baby, money, etc) but I'm very excited to start looking!!
9. Traveling. I always have so much fun when I am on vacation. I can't wait to go on our next vacation. I think we (Ariana and I) are going to Disney with my family around Easter time. It will be right before we move into our new home and a few months before daddy comes home. I'm very excited!
10. Food. I love eating. I'm a total fatty at heart, whatever. At least being preggo I have an excuse to eat whatever. Haha too bad I'll be on chicken and lettuce once Miss Thang gets here. I have started to enjoy cooking and baking and I looove making things for my hubs - he always thinks it's delicious, even when I screw up. I have all intentions of sending him food, mom says she knows a good way to keep cookies fresh so you can bet your butt that there will be cookies shipped!!

So there is a limited list of the things that make me happy! I am WAY too lazy to tag 10 people right now, so if you would like to list the things that make you happy, feel free to yoink this! Reading blogs in general makes me happy so anyone is free to have at it :-)

What a Hiatus (Oops, Neglect of Blogging)

Yeah, I've been on a slight hiatus. First there was the whole Thanksgiving thing, which was FANTASTIC and I even cooked some this year!! I made sweet potato casserole and cranberry salad a la Mr. P's mom. I wanted to make sure he got some of his home traditions at Thanksgiving in Maryland.

Then there was the whole surprise baby shower thing! My mom planned a killer surprise baby shower and I got to enjoy time with some of my closest friends ALL AT ONCE while celebrating my beautiful daughter and getting lots of awesome gifts!!

Phi Mus at the shower

Then after that we headed back home and Mr. P's mom, step dad, sister, and our brand new nephew came to visit. They just left this morning at around 5am, actually, so we had a nice long week with them. We had a great time, I felt kinda bad because I was doing a lot of running around and getting things done in between visiting, but Mr. P is very happy that he got to see his family before a possible deployment.

Mr. P also got a promotion! We're very very excited about this, we've been anticipating it for a while (ok, since July). He is now Cpl (Corporal) P instead of LCpl (Lance Corporal) P. He is at NCO status, which means he's got more responsibility and a little more respect, which is pretty great. I am soooo proud of him (us, I mean, I did nag the crap out of him to get his stuff done...) and I even got to pin on one of his chevrons at the promotion ceremony.

Pinning on his Cpl chevrons

Now we are just getting ready for our first deployment. It's a very stressful time. We actually have an idea of when this will happen, but of course I can't share it with you. I'm just trying to get all the stuff we need to get done totally done before it is here. Honestly, I have been a bit of a mess but being 8 months preggo and preparing to send the love of my life to war, well I believe it's to be expected and still think I'm doing a hell of a job. I mean, I haven't even thrown up once even though I've thought about it! I guess I just thought it would never come, never be official. We'd heard so many rumors and had so many "We'll be gone by xxx" that by now it had just come to be normal to just disregard it until there was something official... now that we've got official, well, it's still hard to believe and even harder to accept.

So there is a quick recap on why I have been missing lately. Please don't think I don't love you all by not commenting, life is just really chaotic for now, and I will be back to full time blogging world as soon as I can...

Hope you all have a phenomenal weekend.

Make an Offer (Holy Crap, I'm a Grown Up!)

Sometimes, I look at my life and it hits me - Woah mama, I'm a GROWN UP. I real life adult. Responsibilities, bills, gonna be a momma, the whole nine. Don't get me wrong, you can be a grown up without those things, but without those things I do not think I personally would be. And now... I am.

So this weekend shoved me into grown-up status even more. I guess shoved isn't the correct word... more like I stepped into. And why now, more than a couple days ago, am I feeling more grown up you ask? Well...

We Bought A House!!!

That's right, I'll soon be paying a mortgage (the word still makes me shudder, can I call it something else...?)
Ok so we didn't buy it yet per se, we've made "an offer" but we're buying a house from a builder (it's not even a house yet, right now it's a plot that will be a house) and builders don't typically turn down offers especially since we offered the asking price (unlike buying someone else's house you can offer lower and they choose whether or not they accept it).

As any of you who've been reading may know, we'd been looking for a while. We had pretty much given up our search when we didn't find just the one and the thought of paying a mortgage started to frighten us. We still browsed a bit though and came across a lovely woman named Vikki at a house we definitely didn't want. Vikki mentioned pre-construction and how it was in our price range and we really thought it wouldn't be for us, we decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and have a look see anyway. And low and behold, here we are a couple weeks later (After looking for MONTHS) with our names signed on paperwork!!

Thankfully, we've got time to save, adjust, and realize this is all coming true. We don't close until May. It has really worked out for us - our lease isn't up until May and other things may keep us from wanting a house much before May, but we definitely wanted some place to call home in the May/June time frame. So when they told us our closing date could be pushed back to May it was like a sign. Oh, and the house is called the EVELYN just like my beautiful mommy. TWO signs. woah-hoah.

Here is a picture of a house being built in the same area that has the same design and floorplan as our house

and because we are huge dorks, both my husband and I, here is us in front of our Plot Sign, where our house will stand in just a matter of months (6 or so months... and that'll fly, trust me - I know!)
Funny story about this pic... it was taken with a self-timer, so I sent Mr. P over to the sign and I stood by the truck on the road, getting the camera set up on the bed of the truck and getting him in the viewer. I got him in there then set the time and then ran (waddled) my preggo self over the mud in 10 sec. for the pic. I had just made it and only by jumping over to him.

Anyway, if any of you are really that curious, you can check out our floorplan/neighboring floorplans at Simpsons Crossing (that's our new neighborhood!!) and clicking on the Evelyn - or whichever one you wanted to look at.

Hope you all had a great weekend!

Lamaze and a Rib-Ing Pain (How Big ARE You Baby??)

I must admit, I pretty much love being pregnant. Pregnancy makes every day a little adventure, and makes each day, week, month, something to look forward to as each day is one day closer to my little one being here. While there are some pains (literally) and some trials, I really have enjoyed my pregnancy and feel so lucky to have this experience.

That being said, one of my most favorite parts of pregnancy is feeling Baby P move. Each little flutter, every kick, brings a smile - and quite often a giggle - to my face. And each time, it never fails, I realize all over again "There's someone in there!" Some of her kicks now, as she's getting older, I can see my tummy actually moving. It's really like something of a sci-fi movie, and I hope to catch it on video one of these days, but of course she never does it when I'm expecting or waiting for it! The fact that this is something that Mr. P can sit and experience with me is something I really enjoy, too. The other day, he laid his head against my stomach and was talking to our baby. He said to her, "If you love me, punch me in the face" (I thought to myself when he said this, don't let yourself down when she doesn't, she's not particularly active right now and that's kind of a loaded request for someone not even here yet) And what do ya know - she punched (or kicked, elbowed, head-butted...) him right in his cheek as he lay there! We were both very astonished and so excited! Of course daddy then had the biggest grin on his face "SHE LOOOOVES ME" haha they're so cute together already and she's not even here.

Baby Gaga

Now that being said, I don't mean to complain when I say that I wish this kid would get out of my ribs. Haha. I love the movement, I love feeling her there, I love knowing she's still there. But her new favorite spot to hang out is up in my ribs, particularly on my right side. I don't know if it's a foot, an arm, a butt... but some body part has been there continuously over the last few weeks. And I'm pretty sure there's a bruise on the inside from where Little Miss Thing is constantly rubbing. Of course, nothing I say or do helps to move her from her spot. It's where she likes to be and it's where she'll remain until she's ready to move. So, until that point I will continue to just rub my aching ribs. I know I could have it worse - my friend Cait's baby wakes her up in the night kicking at her ribs - at least we don't have that going on... yet.

Tonight we had Lamaze Class. Mr. P's unit isn't exactly... supportive... of his attending my appointments/classes/anything family related, so he wasn't able to make it. Instead my friend Whitney came with me as birth partner. I've just got to say I am so very lucky and blessed to have the friends that I do. This was the relaxation/labor prep segment of the course which meant the birth partners would be massaging us preggo ladies. Whitney was such a trooper and did all the massages, paying special attention so she can properly teach my husband later. She even did the foot massage and she hates feet, I told her she didn't have to, but like I said she is such a trooper. I'm so thankful!! Mr. P did make an appearance at the end of the class, which was nice for him to be there, and I am lucky to have had anyone there at all, let alone TWO people.

Photo

And now, as the Ravens are on Monday Night football, I am going to go enjoy having a teeny piece of Maryland down here in NC. Hope you all have a fantastic week!

Veteran's Day Thankful Thursday

I don't typically partake in Thankful Thursdays, usually because I forget it's Thursday before I have the chance (hence why I've been slacking in my Wishful Wednesdays, too) but yesterday, I skipped a Veteran's Day blog because I wanted to incorporate it into a Thankful Thursday post.

Warning: This post may be a bit Motarded.
Definition of a Motard (a la Mr. P): "Motivated to the point of retardedness."
A term often used to describe people who are overly excited about anything Marine Corps/military/regulation/American. Often associated with the "super motivational" haircut, the high and tight.

Photo Cred

Used in a sentence: Babe, you are such a motard, I am surprised you don't have a high and tight (Hubby to me when I was seriously rocking out to "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" by Toby Keith)

Ok, enough with the babbling, on to the thankfulness...

Photo Cred

Every day, I am thankful for my wonderful family. I'm thankful for the family which I was raised, my amazing parents who support me like none other, my crazy little sister that I am lucky to have no matter how annoying she can be, and my extended family at large, they're pretty neat. I am thankful for the family I married into. My awesome husband, who I don't know what I'd do without. I could seriously go on for hours about all the reasons and ways I am thankful for him so let's just leave it at he loves me no matter what, he takes care of me, spoils me, and is the bestest man I could have asked for ever. And my new extended family, they're pretty neat, too.
Also, the new family that we are creating. My beautiful little daughter baking away inside. I'm thankful for the opportunity to even be pregnant and the chance to become a mommy. I'm thankful for every kick, every symptom of pregnancy, and every little joy that comes along with it, because it really is a miracle.

I am also thankful for my friends. My wonderful friends I've grown up with who have been by my side regardless, all the women that stood by me at my wedding day, I don't know what I'd do without them. My friends from school that I still keep in touch with and the sorority sisters that continue to think about me even though I'm so far away. And my new friends, the Marine Wives I've met along the way so far. I would be a mess down here without the ladies I've gotten to know.

And *begin motivational section* in this issue of Thankful Thursday, I am thankful for our military. Without which America wouldn't be... well America. I'm thankful that there are men and women out there who risk their lives daily so that we can enjoy the freedoms that we do and feel safe and protected in the ways we do. I'm thankful that I had the opportunity to grow up in a military family and learn to appreciate all these things at an early age. I'm thankful that my husband is the strong and good Marine that he is, that he has the dedication to work his butt off for the Corps. I am thankful for all the things the military has provided for us, as well.

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So now I'm wondering what's up with my lack of readership? Is my life that boring or my posts that difficult to read (I know I tend to write in stream-of-consciousness fashion, so maybe I'm just too all over the place?) I'm beginning to get a bit depressed at the dwindling amount of comments I receive, it's kind of a blow to the ego!! So if you stop by and my blog sucks, feel free to let me know! Hahaha.
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And lastly, hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

Also, in lieu of the Veteran's Day topics of this post, head over to Married to the Military for an awesome Build-A-Bear giveaway!! Run quick, the giveaway ends tonight!!

Cats and Cribs

Hope everyone had a very HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

We had a very low-key Halloween, and while I missed all the festivities of Halloween's past in Maryland, being with hubs on Halloween and just hanging out was pretty sweet, too. On Friday at work was costume day, so I had to throw something together, seeing that I hadn't even considered what costume would fit over my new body shape this year. I ran to WalMart the night before and found some tiger ears, tie, and tail and some costume paint/make-up. I had a black dress and leggings at home and a tiger would have to do it! My coworkers and the kids all seemed to like it, so my quick-fix was a grand success!
I visited Mr. P at work when I got off to bring him lunch. I forgot about my face and gave him a huuuge hug, since he had had duty and I hadn't seen him since about 5pm the night before, I was excited, ok?! Buuut oops about his face... haha
Friday evening I was feeling pretty bummed about our lack of Halloween plans and low and behold hubby comes home telling me we got invited to a party! So I redid my face paint and we picked out something to throw together for the hubby, and we headed out!

It wasn't the best Halloween party I'd ever been to, but we had a good time, got to cut loose a little bit and have some Halloween fun - Oh and dress up :-D

Halloween day (Saturday) we decided to take some time to move the futon out of baby girl's room so we could set up her crib that my mom had bought and had arrived at our front door on Wednesday. It looked like it was going to be a really daunting task, but it wasn't that bad at all and didn't take much time - and Mr. P only cussed out the parts one time! haha. Crib assembly success.

Our bellies were growling after our grueling labor, and we wanted some delicious Chinese. We looked at ordering and we both wanted SO much that we decided it would be more cost efficient and more satisfying to our bellies if we just went in for the buffet. And let me tell you, what a buffet it was. A preggie woman's dream I like to call it. So much food, and desserts. I think I got like 4 plates of food... oops. Haha. All the Chinese goodness and fried deliciousness we could eat for two? $22. Fooding our hungry selves... total success.

Now we're having the laziest Sunday. I have picked up a cold or something this weekend and am wicked congested and feel like doing nothing. Our typical Sunday ritual consists of meal planning/grocery shopping, hair cut for Mr. P, errands, and house cleaning, but I won't be surprised if only part (or even none...) of that gets done.

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend and your week is just as awesome!

Photo-Op!

A few updates, in photos.

-Weekend-
These pictures are from when we went to the Memorial park in Jacksonville and saw the Beirut, Vietnam, and World Trade Center memorials.

As I said in the last post, our visit was really moving and pretty emotional. It was such a beautiful area. If you're ever in the Jacksonville NC area, I suggest you check it out.


-Yesterday-
We carved our punkins yesterday! Strangely enough, NC punkins are different and kind of fell apart rather easily, there are about 5 toothpicks holding mine together and when I got home from work, her face was basically toast, meaning it had all sunken in...

-Today-
My belly photo shoot. The last week of my second trimester, then I'll be in month 7 and the third and final trimester! She'll be here soooo soon!

Hope everyone is having a good week!