I've been doing good. I've been doing much better than I expected. But sometimes, I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep until the summer. Or at least until I go into labor.
I try to play it off on hormones, but sometimes I am just sad. I wish I could always be tough (as nails). My motto has been be strong for my Marine. I don't want to feel sad, I want to feel good and keep on keeping on. I promised him no moping. He made sure I would not mope. I stay upbeat in my letters and on the phone. I find it inexcusable to let him know I am having a hard time ever, he needs to stay focused on his mission and not worry about me here. The more focused he is, the easier it will be for him. My goal is for him to be safe and come home to me 100%.
But sometimes, I am just sad. Hormones, deployment... put it all together and it can be overwhelming at times. And I can cry for no reason. Last night I was a bit upset because I miss my home in NC, but it doesn't really feel like home without him there and I got thinking that when I'm in NC I miss my home in MD which is not so home-y without him either. I deduced that I do not, currently, have a home. As home is where the heart is and my heart is in a war-torn land thousands of miles away from me. Thinking of it that way makes it really rough, and I need to take time to remember that I do have a home, two actually, and there are people here and people in NC who love and support me. Today the crying came really from nowhere, part of the reason I blame it mostly on hormones. I'd had a fine day, running errands and doing some returns and getting a not-so-awesome pedicure with mom. But then when we were back I was sitting there and I just felt... unhappy... weighted. Heavy.
I know that this is perfectly ok. With everything going on in my life, it is perfectly acceptable to have meltdowns, moments, times to be upset. And I know that all in all I am doing a damn good job. I think part of the hardship comes, too, from hearing from him 3 times in 2 days and then nothing today. It's only one day, but when I don't hear from him after hearing from him regularly, 'just one day' can feel like a lifetime.
I also feel slightly useless here. I know I could help around the house, clean, etc. but I don't really want to. I don't know what I want to do. In NC, before the majority of my friends left to go home, I was busy everyday. Going out to lunches, taking random road trips to visit friends who live a little farther from JVille, doc appointments, just keeping busy. I haven't been so great at keeping busy since I've been home. I think I'm ready to be back at my own home, preparing for baby's arrival, getting last minute things together. I also know that the sooner I am back home, the closer to baby's arrival we'll be. I go back home on the 5th of January, so we'll be in full-on countdown mode by then, it just feels right now that the 5th of January is decades away.
Speaking of which, today, 27 Dec, marks one month until I'm due. A whole separate reason for thousands of emotions. I'm so excited and ready for her to finally be here (and frankly, ready to not be preggo anymore!). I'm nervous as all get out to be a mom (hello, I'm responsible for a-whole-nother person!). I'm incredibly sad that Mr. P is not here to witness his daughter's arrival into the world and to meet her. It breaks my heart that she will be 7 or so months old before he can meet her, and thinking of how he must feel about this, cuts a little deeper - if it breaks my heart it must shatter his. A whirlwind of emotions, I can only imagine how it'll be on her actual birth day.
Sorry for such a long and emotional post, I typically try to keep them light and upbeat, but sometimes I just need to pour my heart out. I miss my husband deeply, I'm 9 months pregnant, and I have heartburn, I think I deserve a little bit of an emotional release.
I will continue my whole hearted attempts at staying positive. I hope you all continue to have a faboosh weekend.
Showing posts with label symptoms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label symptoms. Show all posts
For the Love of Smooth Skin (Laser Surgery?) Day 14
Ok first and foremost. I have a stretch mark. I've said it, it's true. GAHHH!!! I think I'm going to have a meltdown.
So, I have had a couple on my hip areas for a lil bit, but those were ok, because they were on the side and seemed easy to hide. But then yesterday I discovered it. One lone stretchmark. On. My. Belly. I'm officially so over this pregnancy thing. I would like my daughter to just be here already and discontinue stretching my poor skin.
I have been told there's not even a way to get rid of these ugly battle wounds. How do celebs do it? You can't tell me Nicole Richie went from skeleton to big ol' watermelon in 9 months flat with out a simple line of stretch. There's gotta be some celebrity secret. And I want it. Now.
Explain this to me. Please.
In other news, it's 2 weeks since Mr. P left. These are the meals I have cooked since he has gone:
* Beef stew and noodles
* Beef stew and rice
* Chicken nuggets and left over mashed potatoes
* Chicken nuggets and noodles.
Noticing any patterns? And yes, that's beef stew from a can, plopped in a pot and heated up on the stove.
Who's happy to be going home to Maryland tomorrow and indulging in mommy's cooking?
Yes, that would be me.
Sad how fast domesticity flies out the window when the hubby leaves...
Hope you all are enjoying your week!
Oh, and if you're wondering how fat I am now...
35 weeks
And yes, the lone trouble maker is in this pic. Please don't try to hunt it/point it out/look at it in any way. Belly pics are not cute anymore. :(
So, I have had a couple on my hip areas for a lil bit, but those were ok, because they were on the side and seemed easy to hide. But then yesterday I discovered it. One lone stretchmark. On. My. Belly. I'm officially so over this pregnancy thing. I would like my daughter to just be here already and discontinue stretching my poor skin.
I have been told there's not even a way to get rid of these ugly battle wounds. How do celebs do it? You can't tell me Nicole Richie went from skeleton to big ol' watermelon in 9 months flat with out a simple line of stretch. There's gotta be some celebrity secret. And I want it. Now.
Explain this to me. Please.In other news, it's 2 weeks since Mr. P left. These are the meals I have cooked since he has gone:
* Beef stew and noodles
* Beef stew and rice
* Chicken nuggets and left over mashed potatoes
* Chicken nuggets and noodles.
Noticing any patterns? And yes, that's beef stew from a can, plopped in a pot and heated up on the stove.
Who's happy to be going home to Maryland tomorrow and indulging in mommy's cooking?
Yes, that would be me.
Sad how fast domesticity flies out the window when the hubby leaves...
Hope you all are enjoying your week!
Oh, and if you're wondering how fat I am now...
35 weeksIt's the Final Countdown!
Can you believe it? Only 10 More Weeks until Princess P's due date. I'm still on the ever-so-hopeful thoughts that the due date is actually a week late and she'll make an 'early' on-time debut, but who can blame me? That being said, please enjoy this 30 week belly pic along with this little Weekly Check-in Questionnaire Doo-hicky that I yoinked from Katie.
How far along? 30 weeks today, 10 to go, WOO HOO!!!!
Total weight gain: Ugh. Approximately 25 Ell-Bees. So not stoked about the whole "large number popping up on the scale" thing...
Maternity clothes? For the most part. Pants most definitely, but shorts and sweats I still wear "normal people" ones. Shirts are some maternity, some pre-preg, as long as their long. Some dresses are maternity and some are pre-preg, depending, again, on the cut. The most comfy thing is Boyfriend Sweats (Victoria's Secret Pink) and a tee-shirt sans bra or undershirt, but that's clearly not practical for out of the house wearing, so I break down and get dressed... sometimes. Oh, and if you wanna send me a gift, I desperately need new bras. The "larger" one I bought months ago is not comfy so I'm wearing sports bras and one very stretched out BioFit. I need to hit up the maternity boobie section like woah.
Sleep: Yes please! The tireds are back. Boo. I want to sleep all the time. I force myself to try to get up but I usually end up sleeping during the day. Night time is still give and take, sometimes it comes easily sometimes it takes hours.
Best moment this week: The kicks. I just can't get over her moving. And also getting all the furniture put together, everything's getting SO real.
Movement: All the time. They told me from the very beginning we've got a very active baby and now I believe em. I'm pretty sure she's a dancer... or maybe a kickboxer? Her favorite spot, as noted in my last post, is in my ribs. They are sooore. She also likes to hammer away at my left side when I lay down, but no lie - I love that feeling.
Gender: Baby GIRL
Labor Signs: Couple of Braxton Hicks contractions. They're not fun, and they do hurt sometimes. Headed to L&D the other night when they were coming every 15 min for a 2-hour time span, but it was just exhaustion and dehydration the docs said. Cervix is still closed and no word on effacement or any of that gory business.
Belly Button in or out? In still, but weird. It's kinda... I don't know... hard?? It's opened up like a big ol' mouth and the top is hard. I hope that doesn't mean it's getting ready to pop out, I'd be fine keeping my belly button on the inside, thanks. (I had a horrible dream about it popping out and being really gross, so I'd rather just keep it in for now...)
What I miss: My favorite jeans, although maternity jeans and the freedom they bring, have really grown on me. I also miss being able to have a cocktail (what can I say, I enjoy my nights out), exciting sex (I feel like I can only do it in one position and I'm afraid I might bore my husband to death, although he doesn't seem to have a problem, at least I've still got a libido!), my energy, and feeling in control of my emotions (for the most part.)
Weekly Wisdom: Go to the classes! Yesterday was a breastfeeding class, Mondays are childbirth/lamaze, and in December I'll be going to New Parents class... they help you prepare and know what to expect to a tiny extent. They've helped ease my fears, make me more confident, and feel like I know what's going on. I am no longer terrified to attempt drug-free labor or breastfeeding, but we'll see how my tune changes when the time gets here...
Milestones: 10 Week COUNTDOWN. Holy toledo, we're in the single digits starting tomorrow... How INSANE.
How far along? 30 weeks today, 10 to go, WOO HOO!!!!
Total weight gain: Ugh. Approximately 25 Ell-Bees. So not stoked about the whole "large number popping up on the scale" thing...
Maternity clothes? For the most part. Pants most definitely, but shorts and sweats I still wear "normal people" ones. Shirts are some maternity, some pre-preg, as long as their long. Some dresses are maternity and some are pre-preg, depending, again, on the cut. The most comfy thing is Boyfriend Sweats (Victoria's Secret Pink) and a tee-shirt sans bra or undershirt, but that's clearly not practical for out of the house wearing, so I break down and get dressed... sometimes. Oh, and if you wanna send me a gift, I desperately need new bras. The "larger" one I bought months ago is not comfy so I'm wearing sports bras and one very stretched out BioFit. I need to hit up the maternity boobie section like woah.
Sleep: Yes please! The tireds are back. Boo. I want to sleep all the time. I force myself to try to get up but I usually end up sleeping during the day. Night time is still give and take, sometimes it comes easily sometimes it takes hours.
Best moment this week: The kicks. I just can't get over her moving. And also getting all the furniture put together, everything's getting SO real.
Movement: All the time. They told me from the very beginning we've got a very active baby and now I believe em. I'm pretty sure she's a dancer... or maybe a kickboxer? Her favorite spot, as noted in my last post, is in my ribs. They are sooore. She also likes to hammer away at my left side when I lay down, but no lie - I love that feeling.
Gender: Baby GIRL
Labor Signs: Couple of Braxton Hicks contractions. They're not fun, and they do hurt sometimes. Headed to L&D the other night when they were coming every 15 min for a 2-hour time span, but it was just exhaustion and dehydration the docs said. Cervix is still closed and no word on effacement or any of that gory business.
Belly Button in or out? In still, but weird. It's kinda... I don't know... hard?? It's opened up like a big ol' mouth and the top is hard. I hope that doesn't mean it's getting ready to pop out, I'd be fine keeping my belly button on the inside, thanks. (I had a horrible dream about it popping out and being really gross, so I'd rather just keep it in for now...)
What I miss: My favorite jeans, although maternity jeans and the freedom they bring, have really grown on me. I also miss being able to have a cocktail (what can I say, I enjoy my nights out), exciting sex (I feel like I can only do it in one position and I'm afraid I might bore my husband to death, although he doesn't seem to have a problem, at least I've still got a libido!), my energy, and feeling in control of my emotions (for the most part.)
Weekly Wisdom: Go to the classes! Yesterday was a breastfeeding class, Mondays are childbirth/lamaze, and in December I'll be going to New Parents class... they help you prepare and know what to expect to a tiny extent. They've helped ease my fears, make me more confident, and feel like I know what's going on. I am no longer terrified to attempt drug-free labor or breastfeeding, but we'll see how my tune changes when the time gets here...
Milestones: 10 Week COUNTDOWN. Holy toledo, we're in the single digits starting tomorrow... How INSANE.
Lamaze and a Rib-Ing Pain (How Big ARE You Baby??)
I must admit, I pretty much love being pregnant. Pregnancy makes every day a little adventure, and makes each day, week, month, something to look forward to as each day is one day closer to my little one being here. While there are some pains (literally) and some trials, I really have enjoyed my pregnancy and feel so lucky to have this experience.
That being said, one of my most favorite parts of pregnancy is feeling Baby P move. Each little flutter, every kick, brings a smile - and quite often a giggle - to my face. And each time, it never fails, I realize all over again "There's someone in there!" Some of her kicks now, as she's getting older, I can see my tummy actually moving. It's really like something of a sci-fi movie, and I hope to catch it on video one of these days, but of course she never does it when I'm expecting or waiting for it! The fact that this is something that Mr. P can sit and experience with me is something I really enjoy, too. The other day, he laid his head against my stomach and was talking to our baby. He said to her, "If you love me, punch me in the face" (I thought to myself when he said this, don't let yourself down when she doesn't, she's not particularly active right now and that's kind of a loaded request for someone not even here yet) And what do ya know - she punched (or kicked, elbowed, head-butted...) him right in his cheek as he lay there! We were both very astonished and so excited! Of course daddy then had the biggest grin on his face "SHE LOOOOVES ME" haha they're so cute together already and she's not even here.
Now that being said, I don't mean to complain when I say that I wish this kid would get out of my ribs. Haha. I love the movement, I love feeling her there, I love knowing she's still there. But her new favorite spot to hang out is up in my ribs, particularly on my right side. I don't know if it's a foot, an arm, a butt... but some body part has been there continuously over the last few weeks. And I'm pretty sure there's a bruise on the inside from where Little Miss Thing is constantly rubbing. Of course, nothing I say or do helps to move her from her spot. It's where she likes to be and it's where she'll remain until she's ready to move. So, until that point I will continue to just rub my aching ribs. I know I could have it worse - my friend Cait's baby wakes her up in the night kicking at her ribs - at least we don't have that going on... yet.
Tonight we had Lamaze Class. Mr. P's unit isn't exactly... supportive... of his attending my appointments/classes/anything family related, so he wasn't able to make it. Instead my friend Whitney came with me as birth partner. I've just got to say I am so very lucky and blessed to have the friends that I do. This was the relaxation/labor prep segment of the course which meant the birth partners would be massaging us preggo ladies. Whitney was such a trooper and did all the massages, paying special attention so she can properly teach my husband later. She even did the foot massage and she hates feet, I told her she didn't have to, but like I said she is such a trooper. I'm so thankful!! Mr. P did make an appearance at the end of the class, which was nice for him to be there, and I am lucky to have had anyone there at all, let alone TWO people.
And now, as the Ravens are on Monday Night football, I am going to go enjoy having a teeny piece of Maryland down here in NC. Hope you all have a fantastic week!
That being said, one of my most favorite parts of pregnancy is feeling Baby P move. Each little flutter, every kick, brings a smile - and quite often a giggle - to my face. And each time, it never fails, I realize all over again "There's someone in there!" Some of her kicks now, as she's getting older, I can see my tummy actually moving. It's really like something of a sci-fi movie, and I hope to catch it on video one of these days, but of course she never does it when I'm expecting or waiting for it! The fact that this is something that Mr. P can sit and experience with me is something I really enjoy, too. The other day, he laid his head against my stomach and was talking to our baby. He said to her, "If you love me, punch me in the face" (I thought to myself when he said this, don't let yourself down when she doesn't, she's not particularly active right now and that's kind of a loaded request for someone not even here yet) And what do ya know - she punched (or kicked, elbowed, head-butted...) him right in his cheek as he lay there! We were both very astonished and so excited! Of course daddy then had the biggest grin on his face "SHE LOOOOVES ME" haha they're so cute together already and she's not even here.
Now that being said, I don't mean to complain when I say that I wish this kid would get out of my ribs. Haha. I love the movement, I love feeling her there, I love knowing she's still there. But her new favorite spot to hang out is up in my ribs, particularly on my right side. I don't know if it's a foot, an arm, a butt... but some body part has been there continuously over the last few weeks. And I'm pretty sure there's a bruise on the inside from where Little Miss Thing is constantly rubbing. Of course, nothing I say or do helps to move her from her spot. It's where she likes to be and it's where she'll remain until she's ready to move. So, until that point I will continue to just rub my aching ribs. I know I could have it worse - my friend Cait's baby wakes her up in the night kicking at her ribs - at least we don't have that going on... yet.
Tonight we had Lamaze Class. Mr. P's unit isn't exactly... supportive... of his attending my appointments/classes/anything family related, so he wasn't able to make it. Instead my friend Whitney came with me as birth partner. I've just got to say I am so very lucky and blessed to have the friends that I do. This was the relaxation/labor prep segment of the course which meant the birth partners would be massaging us preggo ladies. Whitney was such a trooper and did all the massages, paying special attention so she can properly teach my husband later. She even did the foot massage and she hates feet, I told her she didn't have to, but like I said she is such a trooper. I'm so thankful!! Mr. P did make an appearance at the end of the class, which was nice for him to be there, and I am lucky to have had anyone there at all, let alone TWO people.
And now, as the Ravens are on Monday Night football, I am going to go enjoy having a teeny piece of Maryland down here in NC. Hope you all have a fantastic week!
Orange Juice is Absolutely Delicious (The Joys of Cravings)
I bought the wrong cookies. I went to Wal*Mart today, and after buying the essentials (canned goods and other one-person meals...), I gave in to my two most recent and strongest cravings.
First, chocolate chip cookies. So unhealthy, but they make me happy and less grouchy so healthy for people who have to be around me (ha ha ha) and I can justify that everyone needs a little sugar in their life ;-)
My favorite kind these days are
Chips Ahoy Chunky. The perfect mix of big chocolate chunk, cookie, and crunchy deliciousness. I have also settled for the "Great Value" brand, as they taste very similar, they just do not come in a fantastic re-sealable pouch, but they will do when the Chips Ahoy kind are no where to be found.
As was the case today, Chips Ahoy Chunk were MIA. So, I settled for what I believed to be the Great Value Chocolate Chunks.
Boy, was I sad to discover this evening, in cookie craving frenzy, that I accidentally picked up the chewy kind! Ewwie! They will work for cookie craving cutoffs but they are not all that delicious to me :( Oh well, I suppose they will work for now... until my husband gets home and finishes them off so I don't feel guilty for wasting them and buying new ones :-D
Along with the cookie craving comes the extreme need for Orange Juice. My husband now calls me a "fiend" my addiction for the fruity citrusy goodness is so fervent. Of course, I have a current most faaave brand of OJ
Minute Maid Premium... and of course it must be pulp free (I've never enjoyed pulp, if I wanted to eat my orange juice, I'd buy oranges!) Thankfully WalMart was well stocked in this department and I brought home 2 cartons (we'll see if they can last longer than 4 days, that's how long they lasted when my mom got them at my last trip home...) Sometimes when I drink this delicious drink, I think of my good friend Shannon W. She hates anything citrus. It just reminds me how grossed-out she would be by my craving. Oh Shan, I love you, even though you loathe one of my favorite beverages ;-)
First, chocolate chip cookies. So unhealthy, but they make me happy and less grouchy so healthy for people who have to be around me (ha ha ha) and I can justify that everyone needs a little sugar in their life ;-)
My favorite kind these days are
Chips Ahoy Chunky. The perfect mix of big chocolate chunk, cookie, and crunchy deliciousness. I have also settled for the "Great Value" brand, as they taste very similar, they just do not come in a fantastic re-sealable pouch, but they will do when the Chips Ahoy kind are no where to be found.As was the case today, Chips Ahoy Chunk were MIA. So, I settled for what I believed to be the Great Value Chocolate Chunks.
Boy, was I sad to discover this evening, in cookie craving frenzy, that I accidentally picked up the chewy kind! Ewwie! They will work for cookie craving cutoffs but they are not all that delicious to me :( Oh well, I suppose they will work for now... until my husband gets home and finishes them off so I don't feel guilty for wasting them and buying new ones :-D
Along with the cookie craving comes the extreme need for Orange Juice. My husband now calls me a "fiend" my addiction for the fruity citrusy goodness is so fervent. Of course, I have a current most faaave brand of OJ
Minute Maid Premium... and of course it must be pulp free (I've never enjoyed pulp, if I wanted to eat my orange juice, I'd buy oranges!) Thankfully WalMart was well stocked in this department and I brought home 2 cartons (we'll see if they can last longer than 4 days, that's how long they lasted when my mom got them at my last trip home...) Sometimes when I drink this delicious drink, I think of my good friend Shannon W. She hates anything citrus. It just reminds me how grossed-out she would be by my craving. Oh Shan, I love you, even though you loathe one of my favorite beverages ;-)
I Tend to Weep Often (The Pregnant Lady Blues)
Anyone who has been pregnant, or known someone close to them pregnant, knows of the emotional roller coaster that is pregnancy. When I was in my first trimester, I was literally an emotional mess. Looking back, I feel really bad for Mr. P, as he received the brunt of my anger/hostility/sadness/general moodiness. As the pregnancy has progressed, the mood swings have subsided, but they have not ceased to exist.
I will now give you a few examples of my nonsensical crying jags, as laughing at myself is one of my favorite things.
1. I cooked dinner the other night. Seasoned, baked chicken, and noodles (the kind that come in the package, you dump them in the boiling water and they cook themselves). I was very worried the chicken wouldn't turn out good, as I am not well stocked in the seasoning department. To my great surprise however, it was not the chicken I needed to worry about. I sat down on the internet and forgot to turn the noodles down. When I went back into the kitchen, the noodles had started to burn! Of course this was an end of the world catastrophe. I took the pot off the stove, slammed it on the counter and proclaimed that DINNER IS RUIINED! I ran to the bedroom, locked the door, and wailed (I'm not joking here, real tears and real sobbing) for a good 15 minutes. Meanwhile my faithful husband, God bless him, was at the door telling me that I do not fail at life (something I proclaimed in my wailing), that dinner is still very much edible, and that I should come out and enjoy it with him.
2. After exiting the bedroom from the above scenario, I went out into the kitchen to enjoy what I could of my pitiful dinner. The chicken was actually really good and he was right, only the bottom was burnt so the noodles were still semi-edible. It was then that I realized this was not my fault. This was all his fault. Because he answered the phone when I had seen it was a call I didn't want to take, which in turn means he never listens to me. Insert pouting on the couch for another good 15 or so minutes. Thankfully, that mood ended without much flair.
3. While doing laundry, I walked in to husbands/baby's room (spare for now, to be nursery in a matter of weeks). After moving some things around, collecting some things, etc. I started looking through the enormous pile of clothes my parents bought (more on that in a little) and just got teary-eyed from looking at the baby clothes. I'm going to be a mom, how phenomenal and cry-worthy!
4. Just tonight I was sitting on the couch having a discussion with husband. I don't remember why but I ended up in a mood, and off I went to the bedroom. As I'm laying there under the covers, I realize that I really want, no need, chocolate chip cookies. As we are (were) currently out of chocolate chip cookies, this prompts yet another crying spell. I JUST WANT COOOOOOKIES, sob sob sob. Thankfully I somehow landed the most amazing man in the whole Universe and he swiftly headed out to grab me a bag of cookies. And man they were delicious!
5. A bout of hysteria struck me a few nights back. Hubs and I were sitting on the couch and all of a sudden everything is funny to me. As this is not uncommon to my un-pregnant self, I did not double think it. I started acting like a goof and doing silly things and just laughing. However, when my husband didn't find it as funny as I did (he did find it funny, he was just joking around by saying things like, "What's gotten into you, crazy" and such) I broke down. YOU DON'T THINK I'M FUNNY? YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY THAT FOR ONCE I FEEL GOOD? sob sob sob.
6. As hubs left for work this morning at 0100 (to be in at 0130, see previous post), I was left to go to bed by myself, since I never go to bed at a normal hour. As I get into bed by myself I realize that I am extremely lonely, the bed is cold, and I miss him. He'd been gone approximately 1 hour. I of course call him and explain to him how sad I am without him. He tells me that he misses me too and wishes he could be home. Thankfully after a few calmly shed tears that one dissolved quite peacefully!
My poor husband is the brunt of all my erratic emotions, and yet he sticks by me. How did I end up with such an awesome man. Let me stop, before I start crying again.
Before I end and head to bed, I want to share some happy things, however. First is how spoiled Princess and I both are. Along with my parents endless love, well-wishes, awesomeness, and excitedness, they also spoil us with frequent visits and tons of gifts. Getting packages is one of the most exciting things about living far away from the people you miss, even when they are addressed to your unborn daughter instead of you (hehehe). This week, a box came (straight to the house, the mail lady honked and pointed at my house which I found strange but that's a whole-nother story) loaded with gifts for baby girl.
How freaking cute are those outfits? I am so blessed to have such excited grandparents to be, and such an awesome family in general, man I miss them. Stopping again before tears (haha just kidding)
And lastly, I leave you with my big ol' 19 week belly. I am officially getting fat. And I love it.
I will now give you a few examples of my nonsensical crying jags, as laughing at myself is one of my favorite things.
1. I cooked dinner the other night. Seasoned, baked chicken, and noodles (the kind that come in the package, you dump them in the boiling water and they cook themselves). I was very worried the chicken wouldn't turn out good, as I am not well stocked in the seasoning department. To my great surprise however, it was not the chicken I needed to worry about. I sat down on the internet and forgot to turn the noodles down. When I went back into the kitchen, the noodles had started to burn! Of course this was an end of the world catastrophe. I took the pot off the stove, slammed it on the counter and proclaimed that DINNER IS RUIINED! I ran to the bedroom, locked the door, and wailed (I'm not joking here, real tears and real sobbing) for a good 15 minutes. Meanwhile my faithful husband, God bless him, was at the door telling me that I do not fail at life (something I proclaimed in my wailing), that dinner is still very much edible, and that I should come out and enjoy it with him.
2. After exiting the bedroom from the above scenario, I went out into the kitchen to enjoy what I could of my pitiful dinner. The chicken was actually really good and he was right, only the bottom was burnt so the noodles were still semi-edible. It was then that I realized this was not my fault. This was all his fault. Because he answered the phone when I had seen it was a call I didn't want to take, which in turn means he never listens to me. Insert pouting on the couch for another good 15 or so minutes. Thankfully, that mood ended without much flair.
3. While doing laundry, I walked in to husbands/baby's room (spare for now, to be nursery in a matter of weeks). After moving some things around, collecting some things, etc. I started looking through the enormous pile of clothes my parents bought (more on that in a little) and just got teary-eyed from looking at the baby clothes. I'm going to be a mom, how phenomenal and cry-worthy!
4. Just tonight I was sitting on the couch having a discussion with husband. I don't remember why but I ended up in a mood, and off I went to the bedroom. As I'm laying there under the covers, I realize that I really want, no need, chocolate chip cookies. As we are (were) currently out of chocolate chip cookies, this prompts yet another crying spell. I JUST WANT COOOOOOKIES, sob sob sob. Thankfully I somehow landed the most amazing man in the whole Universe and he swiftly headed out to grab me a bag of cookies. And man they were delicious!
5. A bout of hysteria struck me a few nights back. Hubs and I were sitting on the couch and all of a sudden everything is funny to me. As this is not uncommon to my un-pregnant self, I did not double think it. I started acting like a goof and doing silly things and just laughing. However, when my husband didn't find it as funny as I did (he did find it funny, he was just joking around by saying things like, "What's gotten into you, crazy" and such) I broke down. YOU DON'T THINK I'M FUNNY? YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY THAT FOR ONCE I FEEL GOOD? sob sob sob.
6. As hubs left for work this morning at 0100 (to be in at 0130, see previous post), I was left to go to bed by myself, since I never go to bed at a normal hour. As I get into bed by myself I realize that I am extremely lonely, the bed is cold, and I miss him. He'd been gone approximately 1 hour. I of course call him and explain to him how sad I am without him. He tells me that he misses me too and wishes he could be home. Thankfully after a few calmly shed tears that one dissolved quite peacefully!
My poor husband is the brunt of all my erratic emotions, and yet he sticks by me. How did I end up with such an awesome man. Let me stop, before I start crying again.
Before I end and head to bed, I want to share some happy things, however. First is how spoiled Princess and I both are. Along with my parents endless love, well-wishes, awesomeness, and excitedness, they also spoil us with frequent visits and tons of gifts. Getting packages is one of the most exciting things about living far away from the people you miss, even when they are addressed to your unborn daughter instead of you (hehehe). This week, a box came (straight to the house, the mail lady honked and pointed at my house which I found strange but that's a whole-nother story) loaded with gifts for baby girl.
How freaking cute are those outfits? I am so blessed to have such excited grandparents to be, and such an awesome family in general, man I miss them. Stopping again before tears (haha just kidding)And lastly, I leave you with my big ol' 19 week belly. I am officially getting fat. And I love it.
