I'm Bitter and Upset Today (One Week)

Quite a flip from my last post which was only yesterday, but I had a poop night which is leading into a poop day. I shouldn't let it take over my day, but let's face it, my husband's not here and I'm getting depressed.

Basically, while the Mr. was en route to 'where he's going' I was very spoiled, as I mentioned before. I got to webcam with him and talk to him online... well... everyday. And then all of a sudden it stopped. I knew it was going to happen but there's no preparing for a sudden lack of communication. Especially when you're a control freak who likes to know exactly what's going on.

The last I talked to him was 5am yesterday (I know, a whole day, it's not that big of a deal, but remember this is sudden...) and I didn't talk long because I was tired and assumed I'd be able to talk to him later in the day as I had been everyday. I assumed. And I'm beating the crap out of myself for this.

At 5pm last night, one of the guys in his unit was on but Mr. P wasn't. I bleeped in and talked to the guy for a couple minutes, made a couple jokes, asked him if he'd seen my husband and he hadn't because apparently Mr.P had moved racks a few nights ago. It is still on my mind... why was this guy on but my babe hasn't been on since 5am yesterday? He told me he'd try to let me know if they were leaving so I wouldn't anticipate hearing from him but when I asked him at 5am yesterday if he was leaving soon he said he didn't think so. It was probably something sudden and last minute like, Ok, it's time to go guys (just like the damn deployment in general...) but I just don't know and it makes me so upset. Especially the fact that homeboy was on and didn't mention them leaving either.

So yeah, it was a rough night. Full of wondering and lots of waking up. Then of course my house phone rang this morning (no one really calls my house phone except for telemarketers, who I've mostly all yelled at that they have the wrong number, my name is NOT Everett.) and Mr. P now that he's overseas. It rang one time and then that was it. It is driving me nuts.

I'm trying not to think about it, and continue on with my day, I've got quite a bit to do, but I just feel... empty. I don't like this at all :(

AND I am SO SICK of people complaining about their hubs not around like it's the end of the world. Yes, I know I always complained about Mr. P's hours, but a fellow Marine wife who knows quite a few of her friends hubby's deployed has been CONSTANTLY whining about her husband in the field and after I posted my post about needing help for goals she asks for help "Thinking of things to do to keep her busy while hubby is in the field." Come on now, he'll be there, what, a month tops?? And you get to spend Christmas with him. Have a little courtesy to your fellow wives who are aching because they just sent their husbands off... And civilians, please PLEASE don't compare your husbands/fiance's/boyfriends business trip (no matter if it was one week or three months) to what I'm going through. I know you're only trying to emphasize but if you're hubby wasn't in constant danger, on the other side of the world, with low to no communication, then really, you don't know what I'm going through. I appreciate your thoughts and concerns, but I'd much rather you just pray pray pray for us, tell me you feel bad or whatever then try to think you know what I'm going through.
Sorry for the depressing post, it's just the way I feel today... hopefully later will be better.

Oh, and I did shave my legs. Go me.


  1. Well congrats on shaving those legs, lol.
    I had a bad day today too. :(

  2. You have every right to feel the way you're feeling. Do remember that even though sometimes people haven't experienced deployment they're just trying their best to sympathize and let you know everything will be okay.

    I hope your nights are better and that you get news from your hubby soon!


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